I was always the good girl, good in academics, quiet sort of girl. When I got married 10 years ago, my inlaws were not very kind to me. They live far away, but they still body shame me even now through calls and the stress lead to binge eat again which leads to further weight gain …like a vicious cycle…over the years I have deep rooted hatred towards them. This has lead to sudden anger issues in me. My husband is a good man. But, I frequently fight with him telling how his parents belittle me. The hatred for inlaws is so much that I am not able to feel happy when something good happens to them. Then I feel guilty too thinking and behaving like this. I want to be a better person…
Hi @Selfguide
Thank you for bravely coming forward with sharing your challenges. I laud you for acknowledging your feelings and your willingness to work on yourself. It takes a lot of courage to admit when we’re struggling, especially with complex emotions like anger, hatred, and guilt.
Firstly, please know that you’re not alone in feeling this way. Many people struggle with difficult relationships, especially with in-laws.
It’s essential to know your feelings are valid. The body shaming and belittling comments from your in-laws are understandably hurtful and damaging to your self-esteem.
Here are some potential underlying issues that might be contributing to your feelings:
- Unresolved trauma: The ongoing body shaming and belittling comments can be traumatic, leading to feelings of anger, hatred, and guilt.
- Lack of emotional support: You might feel like your husband isn’t fully supporting you or addressing the issues with his parents.
- Internalized shame: The constant criticism can lead to internalized shame, making you feel like you’re not good enough.
To start working on these issues, consider the following steps:
- Seek support: Talk to a trusted friend, family member, or mental health professional about your feelings and concerns. They can offer you emotional support, guidance, and new perspectives.
- Practice self-compassion: Treat yourself with kindness, understanding, and patience. Remind yourself that you’re not alone, and that you deserve respect and kindness.
- Develop healthy coping mechanisms: Engage in activities that help you manage stress and anxiety, such as exercise, meditation, or creative pursuits. Your mental health professional would be able to help you to prioritise and co-develop a plan to get started.
- Consider couples therapy: If you feel like your husband isn’t fully supporting you, consider seeking couples therapy to work through these issues together. He may pick up skills on how he can better communicate your needs to his parents.
- Set boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with your in-laws to protect yourself from further hurt and stress.
Remember, healing and growth take time, effort, and patience. Be gentle with yourself, and don’t hesitate to seek help when you need it. 
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Hey @Selfguide,
I think it’s brave of you to think through your emotions and the situations so deeply. It’s really a tough spot to be in and dealing with in-laws can be really tough especially when they have a more traditional mindset (boomer or even earlier generation mindset). I would suggest going for couples therapy because at least you are not fighting through this alone, your husband can help you out to shield you or mediate the strain relationship between you and his parents if he has the mental capacity to. Also, never try never know! Go for it, you got this! 
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