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I was retrenched in January 2024, and I got my current job as soon as I heard of my retrenchment because - who would want to go out of job and have no income for an unpredictable period right?

My current job was my third, and I took it because it was the only company out of the many offers who gave me a senior position instead of an associate one. And why does it matter? Because I missed out on two confirmed promotions in my previous two firms. First company had a new management who let me go while I was on long-term medical leave on the pretext of restructuring; second company got bought over and my whole team was made redundant. For both cases, the letting go happened on the month of my promotion.

But I realise that I couldn’t cope with my current work, even though it’s of a similar nature to my first job which I have close to 3 years of accumulated experience. I was overwhelmed with the fact that there were so many new things which I had never encountered prior, yet as a senior I have to guide my juniors in their daily work too. The extra pressure comes from the fact that within my team of 10, two new senior hires who also joined in early 2024 failed their probation.

The last two months were tough for me at work, because I realised I couldn’t really concentrate well and am easily distracted (e.g. I could be looking at this document, and then before I realised it, I had blanked out or got brain fogging and have no idea what I was doing prior, or why did I even open up this document in the first place). Outside of work, I started losing interests in my hobbies, not wanting to interact with anyone else, and just felt lethargic constantly, like refusing to get out of bed in the daytime and just wanting to head back to sleep even though I have slept for 10 over hours.

If you may ask why I didn’t talk to my managers or boss about it, the reason is because I am still in probationary period. And talking to them about my current situation MAY result in me not passing my probation, especially with the knowledge that two new senior hires failed theirs.

I thought of submitting my resignation, but the thought of not being able to get a job I wanted (which is a similar nature to my second job), restarting my career as an associate for a 30 year old guy, and having no income for months potentially will create more anxiety for myself. But on another hand, I feel I would be worse off mental-wise if I continue to stay.

As confused as I am feeling now, what should I do? Am I burnt-out, having anxiety or depression? :frowning:

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Dear @CaptainJurong,

Your situation sounds incredibly challenging, and it’s completely valid to feel the way you do. It’s tough navigating such big changes and pressures all at once. It must be incredibly frustrating to deal with such setbacks, especially when you’ve worked so hard to advance in your career. Thank you for opening up and seeking support. It’s a crucial step towards finding possible solutions and taking better care of yourself. Well done :clap:t4: :clap:t4:

From your sharing, I sense that you have many strengths. Your resilience in facing multiple setbacks and still pushing forward to secure a new position is truly admirable. Your determination to find a new job so quickly after retrenchment shows a strong drive to maintain stability and progress in your career. Your ability to recognise how your current job is affecting your mental health and considering seeking help demonstrates a level of self-awareness. It’s also impressive how you’ve managed to guide your juniors despite feeling overwhelmed yourself. The way you continue to strive for improvement and balance in your life speaks volumes about your character and perseverance. I hope you’ll join me in taking a moment to appreciate these strengths and celebrate your wins, even though things don’t feel okay at the moment. :slightly_smiling_face:

While it feels like you are caught in a tough spot, I hope you’ll consider the following perspectives. Hopefully, this will help you feel like you have more breathing space and recognise that you have options.

Feeling overwhelmed when stepping into a new senior role is quite common. Transitioning to a new company and mastering all the nuances naturally takes time—more than just a few months, especially if the role’s demands are unfamiliar. If other senior hires have faced similar challenges, it may signal areas where the company’s onboarding process or support for new team members could be enhanced. This might reflect broader issues within the company rather than any deficiency in your skills. Staying in a job that negatively impacts your mental health can lead to worsening symptoms. Balancing the need for income with your mental well-being is equally important.

Please be kind to yourself and acknowledge that you’re giving your best effort. There may also be some residual grief from suddenly leaving your past job. Adjusting to a new role often involves a learning curve that can be steeper than we’d like it to be. Give yourself permission to navigate this curve at your own pace and remember that it’s okay to take time to acclimate. Your reluctance to approach your managers is understandable, especially considering the probationary period and the experiences of other senior hires.

Engaging in dialogue with your reporting officer isn’t solely about troubleshooting; it’s also an avenue to seek guidance, feedback, and resources that can elevate your performance and alignment with their expectations. For example, you could explore specific resources or training opportunities that could enhance your effectiveness in your role and positively impact the team. Alternatively, you might discuss the objectives necessary to secure confirmation in your position. Approaching these conversations as opportunities to seek support rather than focusing solely on challenges can ensure you receive the necessary assistance without casting doubt on your competence.

If the above doesn’t seem possible with your current company then perhaps it might be worthwhile to consider looking for other job opportunities for your overall wellbeing in the long run. This could help ease your anxiety about being without income if you decide to leave your current role. Consider roles similar to your second job where you felt more confident and less stressed.

In the meantime, please do focus on incorporating small, manageable self-care activities into your routine to support your mental well-being. This can include engaging in regular exercise, maintaining a balanced diet, ensuring adequate sleep, and rediscovering hobbies or social activities that bring you joy.

Prioritise these activities and start with small steps, even if it’s just dedicating two minutes a day initially, then gradually increase the duration at a pace that feels comfortable for you. Celebrate your achievements by keeping a “book of wins,” where you record moments you’re proud of yourself, whether it’s as simple as showing up to work despite feeling unmotivated. The goal is to improve your self-care just by 1% a day, and by the end of the month, it will be 30%.

Consider integrating daily practices of calming breaths and grounding techniques to help regulate your nervous system and promote a sense of calm.

If you feel ready, do consider sharing your challenges with trusted friends, family members, and career mentors about your challenges. Opening up can provide you with emotional support, connection, and possibly practical advice to navigate your situation with greater ease.

Also, from the symptoms you’ve described—difficulty concentrating, feeling mentally foggy, losing interest in things you used to enjoy, withdrawing from social activities, and feeling constantly tired—it appears that your body is sending signals that your nervous system might be overwhelmed. It could be stuck in the ‘freeze’ state or rapidly shifting between fight, flight, and freeze responses, leaving little time for rest and recovery. These are natural reactions as your body tries to protect and support you in coping with the various challenges you’re facing. These symptoms also align with common signs of burnout, anxiety, or depression.

I encourage you to consider reaching out to a mental health professional to gain a clearer understanding of what you’re going through and to receive personalised guidance. They can offer insights into your experiences and recommend suitable treatments or strategies to help you manage.

Here are some self-care activities for your consideration:

4-7-8 Breathing (Relaxing Breath): This technique is known for its calming effects and can help reduce anxiety. Here’s how to practice it:

  • Inhale quietly through your nose for a count of 4 seconds.
  • Hold your breath for a count of 7 seconds.
  • Exhale slowly and completely through your mouth for a count of 8 seconds.
  • Repeat the cycle for a few rounds, maintaining a steady and relaxed pace.

Grounding Techniques: Use grounding techniques to bring your attention back to the present and reduce anxiety.
5 Senses: Focus on your senses by naming five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
Rainbow: Find 2 things of each colour in the rainbow in your surroundings.

Rescue Session: Rescue Sessions | mindline.sg
Learning Paths: Learning Paths | mindline.sg

Gain Perspectives: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg

Relational Peace: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg

Be Kind To Yourself: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg

Understand Yourself: Mental Support & Wellbeing Resources in Singapore to Improve Your Mental Health | mindline.sg

I hope the above has been helpful and if you’d like more resources or if there is anything else you’d like to share with us, please do. We’re here to listen to you, your feelings are valid and you matter! :grinning:

Kind regards,
Cool Breeze =)

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Thank you for the advice.

After some thoughts and calculating my finances yesterday, I have decided to resign without a job. Meanwhile will first take a few months’ break before I resume looking for a job.

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