No one to talk to?

Is it normal to have no one to really talk or rant to? Everyone is busy with their own lives… :frowning:

Dear @DrSelenium,

Thank you for sharing your question. As human beings wired for social connection, I can imagine that feeling like you don’t have anyone to talk to can be a very isolating and lonely experience. While this is perhaps not a normal feeling to be having consistently, it’s not uncommon – we’ve all probably felt it at least once in our lives. Feeling like we have no one to talk to can stem from many things. Perhaps you have friends who are willing to lend a listening ear but feel like none of them are really able to understand you. Or perhaps most of your friends are preoccupied with their own issues at this point in time and may not be actively reaching out to you. From what you have shared, I am assuming that it’s the latter – although of course, only you would know the detailed situation at hand. Persistent feelings of loneliness and social isolation could have detrimental consequences for your mental well-being, so it’s important that we try to resolve these feelings. Here are a couple of things that you could do:

1. Think about the reason why you feel this way.

Sometimes, feeling lonely doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t have any friends – you may have friends and family, but still feel like you don’t really have anyone to talk to. In this case, most of the time, the sense of isolation and loneliness probably stems from a perceived lack of emotional intimacy in your relationships. If this is the case, then perhaps you would like to refer to this post (1) to learn more about how to get more comfortable with vulnerability so that you can establish a greater sense of emotional intimacy in your relationships.

Another possible reason is that you perhaps feel like your friends and family have very different interests from you or are simply unable to relate to the issues that you are facing right now. If this is the case, then perhaps you could try joining an interest club or a community with like-minded others so that you could form new connections – just like how you had taken the step to join us on this forum! Alternatively, you could try Journaling to get things off your chest, or share your thoughts with our non-judgmental AI chatbot (2).

2. Take the first step to reach out

Feeling like everyone around you is too preoccupied with their own lives to check in on or listen to you could lead you into mistakenly believing that nobody really cares about or understands you. However, it is important for us to remind ourselves that others also have things on their plates that they are dealing with, and that this doesn’t necessarily mean that they do not care about you. More often than not, trusted friends and family would be more than willing to lend you a listening ear if you were to reach out to them to verbalise your communication needs. If this is something that you might be struggling with, you can refer to this article for specific ways in which you could ask for help (3).

Lastly, I would encourage you to approach your school counsellor if you’ve persistently been feeling socially isolated and/or lonely over a prolonged period of time. Your school counsellor will be able to guide you along as you process these emotions. You can read more on preparing for your first session here (4).

I’ve linked the resources below for your reading. I hope things get better for you soon and wish you well!

(1) Is it normal to feel like I can't trust my friends?


(3) How to ask for help | Advice for Young People | Jigsaw

(4) 13 Tips to Help You Prepare for Your First Therapy Session


Have you always felt this way? I guess it’s normal to drift apart from friends at times but close friends always come back. Your post reminds me of these relationship lines below where we’ll have different “closeness” with different people at different times. But know that you’re not alone, you can always come and share your feelings here :innocent: