hi, i’ve been facing mental health issues since i was young to the point where i’ve even developed sleep paralysis/issues when i was 10. i’ve tried to get help at some point and i have seen a psychologist, but i got busy at that time so i never went again
i want to get help again, but i’m now 21 and employed so it’s harder for me now. and i’m a healthcare worker ! i’m worried that if i eventually get diagnosed, it’ll impact my career.
my mind gives me such a big headache every time i make a small mistake, have an awkward interaction or do something not as perfectly as i should. i think if i’m not immediately great at something, i’ll seriously question my whole self-worth. it’s to the point where it’s even haunting my sleep. sometimes i dread the thought that i actually have to live with my brain for the rest of my life, i just want to stop thinking so much.
sometimes i worry that i am also just overthinking my mental health ? there’s this illusion where everything feels okay for some time, before everything eventually gets bad again. it’s a loop
sorry if i’m oversharing, i just needed to get this off my chest and maybe get advice too along the way
You don’t have to apologise for sharing. It takes courage to put all of this into words, and it sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot for a very long time.
Firstly, I really want to encourage you to re-connect with your psychologist again for your own well-being. I hear your fear about how your job might be impacted should there be any diagnosis, but I want to assure you that there is no blanket rule that a mental health diagnosis automatically affects your employment or registration as a healthcare worker in Singapore’s context
Most mental health conditions are actually manageable with the right support, and in fact many healthcare workers live and work well with diagnosed conditions
Also, the loop you described is something common yet critical, hence, I would encourage you to separate what is true from your own beliefs whenever those thoughts get to you. This is also something your psychologist can help you with!
Thank you so much for sharing about what you’re going through - please don’t be sorry about it, and your courage in sharing this encourages others to do so as well
Firstly, thank you so much for your service as a healthcare worker! The fear that diagnosis may impact your career must feel quite daunting to seek help! Just within this community, I have seen numerous members bring this up, so I imagine this is something people discuss and so the risk feels real. Just wanted to further assure you, alongside @approachableturtle 's explanation, that it is safe to just seek professional help to support your mental health journey - it can simply be a conversation with a counsellor just to assess your needs and unpack the heaviness you’re carrying right now. Healthcare workers do carry a whole lot of emotional load day in day out trying to care for others - it is so important that you care for yourself too!
The inner critic seems to have a really loud voice in your head right now, and I can only imagine how overwhelming it can be to hear that over every single thing you do. That introspection (“overthinking your mental health”) is not a bad thing - I’m glad you have the awareness that this is in fact happening in your mind! However, it sounds exhausting that this is the dominant voice right now. Seeing that you chose to join the helping profession, there must also be so many strengths to you and I hope you can consider them when you think about your self-worth
I would really encourage you to talk to someone to unpack these feelings and thoughts! Meanwhile, you can always keep talking to us here
