Overthinking | Anxious | Figuring out stuff

Ask a Therapist Mental Health Conditions
1

I’m not really sure how to start, but lately I’ve been feeling very anxious and stressed. I have a hard time understanding my own feelings, especially when they’re complicated.

I graduated last year in 2025, and adjusting to adulthood has been challenging. I’ve switched two jobs, and at work I struggle to keep up, especially in the lab. There have been moments where I suddenly tear up or have panic attacks. Some colleagues have said I’m not as competent as other new recruits, and that has made me very stressed. This is all new to me, and I’ve never experienced situations like this before.

My family situation is complicated — I would say it’s about 50/50 good and bad. I do have good friends, but I feel like I don’t have a strong anchor or sense of stability. I also tend to overthink a lot.

Last year I saw a doctor because I suspected I had high anxiety and was referred for psychological counseling, but I couldn’t attend because I was called in for work at the last minute. Now I feel like I’m back at square one, and I want help understanding what’s going on with me.

2

Hey @yoloinglife. Thank you for trusting this space with something that feels so confusing and heavy. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a lot on your own for quite some time, and that can feel very exhausting. Adjusting to adulthood after graduating is a big transition, and when many things are changing at once, it’s completely understandable to feel overwhelmed and stressed out.

When stress builds up over time, it can show up as panic, tears, or constant overthinking, and sometimes it is all at once which can be really painful. But this doesn’t mean you’re doing something wrong. It’s because your body and mind are asking for care and attention. These reactions are signals, not flaws, okie?

Struggling right now does not mean you’re incapable. Often, it feels uncomfortable simply because it’s new and hence it’s unfamiliar to you. Everyone adjusts and progresses at their own pace, especially when learning new roles and expectations. The fact that this is hard doesn’t say anything negative about your ability. It only says that you’re human and navigating something new.

What stands out to me is your self-awareness. Wanting to understand what’s going on so that you can feel better shows that you care deeply about your wellbeing, and that matters. I also want to acknowledge the courage it took for you to seek medical help last year. Even though circumstances made it difficult to follow through, that step still counts and it matters more than you know.

You don’t have to navigate this alone. When the timing feels right, reaching out for support again, whether that’s professional help or a trusted person in your life, can be a meaningful step. Even letting someone know that you’re having a hard time, without needing solutions, can reduce the sense of carrying everything by yourself. There’s no need to do everything at once. Small steps are still progress.

I want to remind you that you’re doing the best you can with what you have right now. You are not weak for struggling, and you are not behind for needing time. You deserve patience, understanding, and support especially from yourself.

I hope you’re able to be gentle with yourself as you move forward one step at a time, and I’m wishing you steadier days and moments of relief ahead. You’re not alone in this, okie? :sunflower:

3

Hey @yoloinglife,

We are gald that you are here and putting words to something that feels tangled and hard to explain already tells me something important. When feelings are complicated, speaking them out loud, even in a forum, is often the first way people begin to regain their footing. That step itself matters.

Stepping into adulthood brings a quiet shift in priorities. It’s no longer just about doing well, but about finding places and roles that fit your values and capacity at this stage of life. I notice you’ve changed jobs twice since graduating. I could sense that you were struggling searching for a fit while still learning how much you can realistically hold.

The strain seems to show up most clearly at work. Trying to keep up, especially in a lab setting where expectations are high, is already demanding. When you’re also compared to others, the pressure multiplies. Having to “prove” yourself while still finding your footing can push the nervous system past its limits, which may explain the tears and panic you described.

You also mentioned not feeling anchored or stable. When support doesn’t feel solid, the mind often compensates by overthinking. That kind of mental effort is usually a survival response, an attempt to stay safe, avoid mistakes, and make sense of uncertainty on your own.

After switching jobs more than once, it makes sense that keeping your current role feels critical. In that situation, approval and validation can quietly start to outweigh rest and self-care. When fear of losing ground takes over, looking after yourself is often the first thing to get pushed aside.

Being told you had high anxiety suggests that, for a while now, you may have been functioning largely out of fear, trying to meet expectations, scanning for feedback, and relying on overthinking as the main way to stay on track. That doesn’t mean this is who you are. It means this was how you coped when things felt uncertain.

You said you want help understanding what’s going on with you. It may help to start by asking:
what exactly do you want to understand right now; the anxiety itself, or the way fear, work pressure, and the need for validation have been shaping how you live and work?

I hope this forum helps you are get clear about the first question and that can also make things feel a little less overwhelming.

4

Dear @yoloinglife,

I hear how difficult this has been for you, and it takes real courage to reach out and share what you’re going through. Missing that counselling appointment must have been frustrating, especially when you were ready to take that step. It’s completely okay to explore the possibility of trying counselling again. Seeking support is a sign of strength, and you deserve to have help understanding and managing what you’re experiencing.

Navigating through challenging times can make it difficult to prioritise self-care, but it may be helpful to consider what that looks like for you right now. Are there specific practices or routines that you find helpful? For example, it could be something as simple as taking time to relax, engaging in a hobby, or even just spending quiet moments for reflection.

As you think about your self-care, it’s also important to consider how you would like to be supported during this time. Whether it’s having friends or family check in on you, or seeking professional guidance, understanding the support you need can be instrumental in helping you cope with your struggles. What kind of support feels most comforting to you?

5

Thank you for sharing, it sounds really overwhelming, and you’re not wrong for feeling this way.

Adjusting to life after graduating can be really destabilising. New jobs, pressure at work, comparisons with others, and suddenly feeling like you’re “behind” would make anyone anxious. Tearing up or having panic attacks doesn’t mean you’re incompetent, it usually means you’re under more stress than your system can handle.

You didn’t fail by missing counselling last year; life just got in the way. Wanting help now shows self-awareness, not weakness. If you can, reaching out to a doctor or counsellor again and explaining what you’re experiencing now would be a really good next step.

You’re not broken but overwhelmed. And you don’t have to figure this out alone! :heart: