Hello. Since August last year, I’ve been struggling with my mental health. I’ve noticed that my personality feels duller, and I’ve lost interest in almost all of my hobbies. It feels strange and honestly quite painful when you don’t have anything you genuinely want to do. During weekends or after work, I usually just stay in bed and scroll. I know it’s not helpful, but I don’t feel motivated to do anything else.
I’ve been having anxiety and panic attacks from August until now. My first job may have affected me more than I realised. I was openly shouted at by my supervisor and colleagues and felt isolated most of the time. I didn’t make any friends there and felt very alone. I eventually resigned and found another job. My current workplace is much better, and objectively nothing seems very wrong with my life now — but the anxiety hasn’t stopped.
Recently, I’ve also been having fainting spells, and they’re becoming more frequent. The medical officer suspects they may be stress-related and documented background adjustment disorder. Honestly, I wasn’t shocked. In some way, it confirmed that what I’ve been feeling isn’t “just in my head.”
When my parents found out I was trying to seek psychological services, they said I had no reason to be anxious and compared me to my uncle, calling me lazy. That made me doubt myself even more.
Sometimes I lowkey feel like I live because I cant die. I keep telling myself to just YOLO and push through, but I still end up feeling empty. I’ve also become more irritable and impatient, and I feel like the people around me are drifting away. I can’t help but feel like it’s my fault.
Dear @yoloinglife
Thank you for reaching out and sharing what you have been going through. Please know that none of what has been happening is your fault. There have been multiple challenges in your path and it has been exhausting.
I think losing interest in things you once loved, feeling empty, anxious, and stuck in bed scrolling is caused by the prolonged stress you have endured.
Furthermore it was hurtful to be disrespectfully shouted at and marginalised at your first job. Fortunately your job situation has improved since, but I think your nervous system hasn’t had the chance to recover yet. I believe that is the reason the anxiety and panic attacks still lurk.
It was good you consulted the doctor on the fainting spells and you have since then received a diagnosis and seeking treatment for it.
Understandably it hurt when parents dismissed your experience. I agree it would be ideal if they understood and supported you more.
When you shared the feeling of living because you can’t die, I sense how exhausted and empty you are feeling. I have observed becoming more irritable and distant happens to us when we are struggling without enough support.
Please know that you deserve care and understanding. Please continue seeking psychological help even if others don’t seem to understand your hurt and pain yet. With professional support, you can overcome this low point in your life and reduce your distress. With steady and consistent steps I believe you would eventually rebuild areas in your life that are currently unsatisfactory.
You have already shown determination and courage despite the odds stacked against you so tap on this qualities to slowly move towards recovery. 