Hi, I am currently married and is awaiting of my arrival of kid. My house is coming soon and we are probably set to move in at the start of 2026. However, my parents want to move in to my house with me and my kid. My 5 room bto can only have 1 master bed room, 1 kid room, 1 guest room, and a study room. My parents want to move in along with the helper which is 3 of them. How do i make space for my parents? I want my kid to learn independent by sleeping alone. But my parents want the helper to be sleeping with the kid. Their reasoning is that, they could rent out the existing house and help supplement the cost with the rental collected.
My wife would want us to stay on our own. But as a only child, I feel that it is my responsibility to be taking care of my parents.
This is a delicate issue to manage, and I can understand why it is troubling. You mentioned that they would like to help supplement “the cost” with the rental collected - what is the cost here? Are they thinking of helping with your home mortgage or are they thinking about their own living expenses? If their intention is to help your family out with finances, I think it may be a more challenging conversation. Also, are you and your wife currently living with your parents? If yes, is it generally harmonious?
From my personal experience, I think it’s important to ensure that family harmony can be maintained before moving everyone under one household. With a new baby, I think your wife’s mental health and wellbeing should be a priority in the decision making. It may be good to share your thoughts and concerns with your parents and to be open with them that you would like your child to sleep alone when the time comes. They may understand where you are coming from.
Thank you for sharing this in the platform. It seems like you’re going through a dilemma between your parents and what you and your wife would like. It is understandable that it may be challenging as they’re all people you care about and wish to respect your parents.
I feel that open communication is important. A family discussion may help, together with your wife to discuss the future plans you have and the living conditions that both you and your wife would like. It’s important that you both state to your parents your rationale of wanting to live separately. At the same time, hear your parents out and try to see from their point of view. From what you mentioned, it seems like your parents are coming from a place of concern. If costs seem to be their worry, you could maybe reassure them that you and your wife have it covered and they do not need to worry about it. Do you think you would be open to trying this out?
Funnily enough, I was having a similar conversation with my partner about our future because this seems to be an upcoming norm here. I feel like I can see where the different perspectives are coming from. Your parents wanting to remain close with you and the anticipation of being near a newborn all over again must be exciting. But it can also feel like the lines of starting your own family and being present for your existing one are blurred. And that could be where your wife may be standing. Finding the segregation of being a daughter in law to your parents and her emerging role of a mother in her own home.
It’s not wrong for wanting to support your parents and extra revenue from rent money is definitely helpful. I wanted to ask, what were your initial reactions upon hearing your parents wanting to move in with you? I find that initial reactions are also quite telling in where our hearts may stand in tough decisions.
Hi!
Thanks so much for sharing and being so open about this. Firstly, congratulations to you and your wife, and I am hoping that the arrival of your kid goes smoothly!
This is definitely a tough situation and I get where you are coming from. While you want to be a filial son to your parents, you also need to think about your new family, especially now that it is growing. Communication is definitely important! Try exploring and learning more about the reasons why your wife does not wish for them to move in. At the same time, voice out your opinions and be open with her about your thoughts and feelings. Do also make sure to talk to your parents about it. It will be good to have a family discussion (with your wife, yourself and your parents all in the same room together) so that everyone knows each other’s perspective. This also prevents burn outs on your end as you do not need to keep going back and forth between your family to convey information.
I wish you all the best! You can do it and remember to self care!
Hey, thanks for sharing this — it sounds like you’re going through a big transition with a lot of care and responsibility. And congrats on your growing family and new home — these are major life milestones.
From what you said, it’s clear you’re trying to balance your role as a son, husband, and future father — and that’s not easy. Feeling torn is completely normal.
This seems to be what you’ve shared and some of my own thoughts :>
1. Your parents and the helper moving in:
It makes sense your parents want to be close, especially with a grandchild coming, and the idea of rental income from their place shows they’re thinking ahead. But seven people in a five-room flat will feel tight, and that can create tension over time.
2. Your wife’s need for space:
She’s likely looking forward to building your own family’s rhythm. Privacy and independence are especially important during early parenthood, so her feelings matter too.
3. Your child’s independence:
Wanting your child to sleep alone is a healthy approach. Your parents’ desire for the helper to stay with the child probably comes from love, but it might clash with your and your wife’s parenting goals.
4. Being an only child:
It’s admirable that you want to care for your parents — that shows deep love. But support doesn’t always have to mean sharing a roof. Sometimes being nearby can be more sustainable for everyone.
Some suggestions:
Talk openly with your wife first. Share your concerns and listen to hers — try to find a middle ground that respects both your roles.
Then speak gently with your parents. You could explore:
Living nearby instead of together
Visiting often instead of moving in full-time, at least for the first few years
If co-living is the only option, think creatively:
Can the guest room go to the helper, and your parents use a converted study?
Is there a way to rotate or reconfigure rooms for more privacy?
Whatever path you take, the fact that you’re thinking of everyone shows how deeply you care . You won’t get everything perfect, but with open communication and mutual respect, you’ll find a way through!
Hello @user3024! Thank you for sharing your problems here !
I hear that you’re currently in a difficult position and uncertain about what to do next. I think we are unable to tell you exactly on what to do but can provide you with some advice.
It seems like you know what you’d like which is staying with both your wife and kids. However, your parents have another set of idea which makes things a little difficult for you because now you’re stuck between both ur wife and parents.
Firstly, consolidate your thoughts on what do you think might be the best for you. Don’t get influenced by others. Have some time to think through it especially for a long run. Having a list of what could possibly happen (pros and cons) of living tgt and weigh it out.
You might want to talk/reason things out with your parents and your wife. However, this might escalate or heat things up among all. Ensure when you have this conversation, your mind is at the right state (not when you’re angry/ having a bad day etc.)
Ultimately, whatever the decision is, it’s what you think it’s best for you and your family. Don’t feel like you disappoint/owe anyone It’s definitely not easy for you to go through this but you’ll get through it!
— these are major life milestones.
. You won’t get everything perfect, but with open communication and mutual respect, you’ll find a way through! 
It’s definitely not easy for you to go through this but you’ll get through it!