Please help

I just completed my A levels last year and I feel like I have several issues pressing on me. I constantly feel hopeless and dejected. For the past few months, I have not been able to sleep without crying. The worst part is that I have no idea what is making me cry. Most nights I need to indulge my mind in some fantasy to stop thinking about things and finally get the rest I need. I attributed a lot of this to burnout during JC but since the issue persists and has been worsening I think there may be something else at play.

I sense that recently, I have become either extremely emotional or feel nothing at all. 2 extremes with nothing much in between. I can sense this in the moment but there isn’t much I have been able to do about it. For example, just today I had a mental breakdown in public over something that would be considered an annoyance at most. What I recognise is that I have been tending towards strong emotions despite having been a rather calm, stable and rational person for most of my life.

I want to actively work on my mental issues but at the same time I have no interest in resolving them. I have no interest in much of anything anymore and that scares me. I don’t exactly know how to seek help or tell anyone close to me about what I am going through partly because I don’t fully understand it and also because I don’t think this is such a big issue next to the real and scary problems that others have to face.

About these fantasies, I place myself in absurdly painful situations. I don’t know whether it’s because I want to play a strong, impressive hero or to feed into a victim complex I’ve trapped myself in. Strangely enough, they serve as a sort of relief for me. Maybe I use them as a channel to validate what I’m feeling? because I do think that the extent of some of my feelings are unjustified for the present situation. It’s not like I’m suffering out here.

There is too much going on in my mind and I don’t really know where to start or what to do about it (or if I have the energy to do anything about it). Could not even bring myself to start journaling, even though I believe it’s a good first step to take, because I’m simply overwhelmed. Would be much easier if all this just ended.

I would like to add that I have been rather lonely for a long time in my life. I’ve never engaged in popular media or whatever others do simply to gain friends and that may be a large reason why I’ve been so alone. I’ve largely been ignored by my parents (or they are not as approachable as I need them to be), I was very shy for a majority of my childhood and throughout primary school and most of secondary school, I have not met a single person I would regard as my friend. I know I am lacking in social skills and life experience. Luckily in the past 2 years I have met some introverted people like me who I spend time with, though I am still a little insecure in my friendships. I will admit, I have also never learnt how to maintain relationships with people and find other people texting me or asking me questions first. I would like that to change but how?

I have too many questions and I’m not even quite sure why I am posting this incoherent babble onto a public forum. I am desperate for some form of guidance or help. I really hate to self-diagnose but I genuinely feel like the state of my mind is becoming an issue of genuine concern. If there is an option to chat privately with a therapist or really anyone out there who can help me, I would really appreciate it.

Hey @User1703,

First, I just want to say—this isn’t incoherent babble. What you’ve written here is an incredibly real and thoughtful reflection of what you’re going through, and I appreciate you sharing it. I can hear the weight of everything pressing on you, and it makes sense that you’re feeling exhausted. Holding in these emotions, navigating loneliness, and trying to understand your own mind—it’s a lot. And it’s okay that you don’t have all the answers right now.

From what you’ve described, it sounds like you’re in a constant push-and-pull between wanting to make sense of your emotions but also feeling detached from them at times. It must be confusing and frustrating to go from feeling intensely overwhelmed to feeling nothing at all, like there’s no in-between. That feeling of being stuck between extremes—where one moment everything is too much, and the next, there’s just… emptiness—can be exhausting. Does it feel like these emotional shifts come suddenly, or do they build up gradually over time?

I also hear that you’ve been relying on fantasy as a form of escape. It makes sense—sometimes when emotions feel too big or confusing, our minds create a space where we can control the narrative, even if it’s painful. There’s no shame in that. The question I’d like to gently ask you is—what do you think those fantasies are giving you that real life isn’t? Are they helping you express emotions you don’t feel safe expressing otherwise? Or do they provide a sense of power in moments where you feel powerless? No pressure to answer, just something to think about.

I want to acknowledge something important—you are not overreacting. The fact that this has been persisting, that you’ve noticed a shift in yourself, and that it’s affecting your daily life is something worth addressing. You don’t have to compare your struggles to others—what you’re feeling is valid, and it deserves attention.

It also stood out to me that you’ve been lonely for a long time and have struggled with forming deep friendships. It sounds like this is something you want to change, but it feels overwhelming. Maybe a place to start is asking, when you’ve connected with people in the past, what made those moments feel comfortable? Was it shared interests, a certain type of conversation, or just the feeling of being accepted? Sometimes, understanding what has worked can be a stepping stone to making new connections feel less daunting.

I want you to know that there is a way forward. You don’t have to figure everything out at once. Maybe the first step isn’t journaling, but something simpler—like identifying one small thing that helps you feel a little more grounded, even for a moment. If nothing comes to mind, that’s okay.

Or you can message us directly; we are happy to sit with you in this and figure it out together. You’re not alone in this. I see the effort you’re making, and it matters. :yellow_heart:

Here are more options for your consideration.

CHAT
The Community Health â– â– â– â– â– â– â– â– â– â–  Team (CHAT) provides confidential mental health checks for young persons between 16 and 30 years old who are currently living in Singapore.
6493 6500
6493 6501
https://www.chat.mentalhealth.sg/

Fei Yue Community Services- EC2
LIVE CHAT eC2 is an online facility offering free counselling to youths.

TOUCH Community Services – TOUCHline
Emotional support and practical advice are rendered through this youth helpline
1800 377 2252

Mandarin Speaking,
Care Corner
Hotline for the Mandarin–speaking community facing mental health problems or distressing family situations
1800 353 5800

since u r prob waiting for uni to start, you can search for interests you might like, rest up, try to maintain a healthy and mentally healthy lifestyle. Professional help wise, you can go to a polyclinic and ask for referal. open to chat if u r feeling lonely

Hello OP,

I hope you’re doing well, and I want to give you a big pat on the back for finishing your A levels! Great job! It couldn’t have been easy, and I’m really glad to see that you made it through.

It sounds like you’re going through a tough time and feeling overwhelmed. Like others have mentioned, since you’re still waiting, maybe consider trying therapy? I personally go for therapy too, and I find it really helpful for managing my anxiety and having a safe space to vent my feelings.

Everything will be okay, I promise. Don’t be too hard on yourself—we’ll get through this together!

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