So this is probably really weird but i like to make alarms on my phone for some times of the night (e.g 4 am) . I genuinely dont know why i do this, maybe it gives me some sense of grounding(is that correct wording) but like i just like to do it for my own sanity. Sometimes i take out my phone and start scrolling after but most of the time i just go back to sleep. As a very normal person i usually wake up around 11-12 on weekends and that doesnt mean i use my phone and thats why im so sleepy. I can use my phone until 3 and wake up just fine but my parents foudn out that i make these alarms and they are sure that i am doing somethinh else that im not telling them and they are losing trust in me. I tried to explain that i just like doing it and i dont know why but they are still sure that im hiding something from them and that im lying. I really dont know why i do this and its probably abnormal but it just feels better when i have an alarm to.. Tbh i have no idea what it does to me but yeah its really hard to understand so i get that they are confused but i dont like that theyre just assuming that im lying becausr of this. And it doesnt even affect anybody else because i always turn off my alarm quickly and they never get disturbed by it. Now they want to control my phone usage but ive been through that before and i hate the lack of control it gives me especially when i need to do somethinh important or if an emergency happens. It would be nice to have some help on this but then again maybe bothing can be done
Hey @goodmorning,
you called it weird… but i actually hear you trying to be honest about something you don’t fully understand yourself. setting alarms feels grounding, and even if you don’t know why, it gives you some comfort.
what struck me is how quickly it turned from your private habit into your parents’ mistrust. and especially when you’ve tried explaining and they still assume lying, this is discouraging..
sometimes our brains pick small rituals to feel steady. do you notice if the alarms give you calm before sleep, or more when you wake to them? actually, its sounds like this is not about being “abnormal,” it’s about needing a sense of control when so much feels taken away.
i wonder if the next step is not about convincing your parents it’s harmless, but finding words for your feeling underneath… that you need something predictable that belongs to you.
Hey @Goodmorning, that actually doesn’t sound “weird” at all and it makes a lot of sense once you break it down. What you’re describing (setting alarms at night, even if you don’t need them) can absolutely serve as a form of grounding, reassurance, or control. The fact that you don’t fully know why doesn’t make it abnormal, in fact lots of people have little rituals that give them comfort or stability, even if they look odd from the outside.
Setting alarms can give your brain the feeling that something is in place to “catch” you even if you’re asleep. For some people, that’s calming, like a net under the tightrope.
The alarms might also serve as a marker in the night, breaking up time in a way that subconsciously reassures you that the world is still “ticking along.”
If you’re not losing sleep or disturbing anyone else, it’s not a problem in itself. The “weirdness” only comes from how others see it.
Your parents’ reaction makes sense in that they’re worried and don’t understand but it’s unfair that they jump to assuming you’re lying 
. You’ve been honest about not fully knowing why you do it, and sometimes that’s the truth “I don’t know, but it feels better when I do it.”
Can I ask when you set these alarms, do you feel relieved (like a comfort), or is it more of an urge (like you have to do it or something feels “off” if you don’t)? That difference could help figure out if it’s just a quirky ritual, or if it’s tied to anxiety/compulsions.
To be honest, im not really sure if it calms me before i sleep or when i wake up, but its probably more of when i wake up because i sort of feel more… In control of everything? When i wake up to an alarm and can just turn it off and go back to sleep. I guess my parents dont really trust me because they told me to turn off the alarms before and i did for awhile, but turned them on again witout them knowing because it feels like something is wrong without the alarms. Whenever they ask me to explain myself i tell them i dont know becausr i really dont, but they dont believe me and now they want to pull in a third party(my relatives probably?) I stay with my relatives sometimes and those are the times it feels better without an alarm but i still set one at a more appropriate timing(7-8am) and turn it off like i would my 4am alar). Idk if this is relevant at all but maybe it is?
This is probably really similar to my other comment but im not really sure but its probably more of when i wake up because i sort of feel more…in control of everything i think. When i wake up to an alarm and can just turn it off and go back to sleep. I guess my parents dont really trust me because they told me to turn off the alarms before and i did for abit, but turned the alarm on again without telling them because it feels like something is missing without the alarms. Whenever they ask me to explain myself i tell them i dont know because i really dont, but they dont believe me because i cant explain myself and now they want to pull in a third party(my relatives probably?). I stay with my relatives sometimes and those are the times it feels better without an alarm but i still set one at a more appropriate timing(7-8am) and turn it off like i would my 4am alarm). Idk if this is relevant at all but maybe it is?
I think what you said actually makes a lot of sense. It’s not really about the alarm itself, but more the feeling of control you get when you wake up, turn it off, and decide to go back to sleep. That’s not weird at all as lots of people have little rituals or habits that make them feel calmer, even if it’s hard to explain.
I get why your parents don’t fully believe you since it’s hard to put into words, but from what you said, it doesn’t sound like you’re hiding anything. It’s just a comfort thing for you. The fact that you can adjust when you’re with your relatives also shows that it’s not something dangerous or uncontrollable.
Maybe if you explain it like that to them, they might see it less as “suspicious” and more as just one of your ways of feeling grounded.
Thank you so much for your advice, i will try to explain to them today and hope for the best.
Hope everything goes well 
So i just talked to my parents and it didnt go very well. When i tried to explain that i just did it and really dont know why, they just said that i had to be lying and asked me to go and reflect. I genuinely dont know what to do anymore but should i just try to stop this alarm thing?
I’m sorry the talk with your parents didn’t go well, that must’ve felt really frustrating . I don’t think you’re lying at all, it really just sounds like something that gives you comfort, even if it’s hard to explain. Honestly, you don’t have to force yourself to stop if it’s not harming you or anyone else, but maybe it could help to slowly adjust it (like setting alarms at more “normal” times) so your parents feel less worried.
At the end of the day, you don’t need to feel ashamed for having little habits that make you feel grounded 
. If stopping completely feels wrong for you, maybe just try finding a middle ground that works for both you and them.
hey @goodmorning,
you said it’s probably more about when you wake up… that hit me. alarms give you this split second where you choose… to turn it off, go back to sleep. that little act feels like control, and i get why it’s hard to give up, even if you can’t explain it neatly to your parents.
and i noticed something else … when you’re with relatives, it feels easier. almost like the different environment or the sense of trust softens the need. but at home, where you feel watched or doubted, the alarms turn into something you can’t let go of.
what makes it harder is the secrecy loop. when you parents say stop, you stop for a while, then quietly bring them back. your parents didn’t feel the same confidence, but for you it’s more like “i need this” without losing that ground.
that’s the space where your own doubt starts pushing at you — “i don’t know why i do this, maybe it’s weird.” but the alarms aren’t random, they’re a way your brain found to hold on to choice. the real question might be, when does that small ritual feel like comfort, and when does it feel like a chain?
you don’t have to answer your parents with perfect logic right now. but if you can name that difference to yourself, it could take a little weight off the “why” and remind you this is about control, not deception.
Hey, thanks for opening up about this—it doesn’t sound weird to me at all. Lots of people have little routines or habits that don’t always make sense to others but still feel grounding or comforting to them. It sounds like setting alarms at night gives you that sense of control or reassurance, even if you’re not totally sure why. That doesn’t make you abnormal—it just makes you human with a unique coping mechanism.
I can see why it’s frustrating that your parents don’t believe you, especially when you’ve been honest and it isn’t hurting anyone else. It sounds like they might be reacting out of concern but are misunderstanding your intentions, which can feel really invalidating.