Prolonged sadness or depression?

When I was younger I always thought i was the pinnacle of mental health because I didn’t think I had problems that would be considered a mental illness. It was only recently then i realised i was just a very repressed person lol, and I didn’t want to self diagnose myself in fear of sounding like a fraud(?) or an attention seeker.

Because i do think that i don’t really have problems that are, in my opinion, deserving to make me feel the way i am and i’m sort of scared i sound ungrateful for the things i have. My parents always say i am privileged to have the opportunities i experience and for that i agree, but yet i can’t help but feel otherwise

It started in 2022 when I was doing my olevels and i “suddenly” had bouts of intense nausea and lack of appetite whenever i come to school. In my head i thought i was sick, but then i was told i might have anxiety. Again, i didnt want to confirm because i wasn’t properly diagnosed and my mother just told me.

I thought it would go away but it didn’t and it extended till olevels where i just felt worser and worser every day. That year, i had the most amount if mcs taken compared to my other years, and i lost a lot of weight because i didn’t feel like eating. All of this, i thought would go away, but i still have it until now but less frequently.

And since I now don’t have it as frequently, I just dismissed it as how i coped during olevels. I don’t know why i don’t like self-diagnosing myself because honestly, i really don’t know how to perceive myself. Although my mum tried to understand me back then when i was going through a lot, i really do think she felt like it was a burden because every time i told her i felt sick and i cannot control it she’ll tell me that i can’t rely on her too much anymore since i was (the age at the time).

So, is it really just prolonged sadness or depression? When do i stop blaming it on my periods and start realising maybe i there is something wrong with me but i want to trick myself into thinking that i’m mentally well? Every time i think of this, i always think of others who got diagnosed and their experiences. I feel like mine is very lacklustre (even though what i’ve said on here is somewhat the tip of the iceberg)

I’ve been trying to look for a psychologist first, but i’m scared they’ll tell me the same thing. I can accept it, i think, but i really want to know what’s wrong with me, if there is. I dont want to tell my parents about it because they’ll definitely say something. Is there any psychologists i can go to?

Dear @user5186

Thank you so for sharing your story—it takes so much courage to be open and honest about something so deeply personal. I want to start by saying very gently: your experiences are valid, even if they don’t look like someone else’s.

Please know that you are not a fraud. Nor are you attention-seeking. You are someone who has been carrying heavy feelings quietly for a long time, and you’re finally giving yourself permission to ask for help. That is something brave, not something to be ashamed of.

It’s completely normal to feel unsure when you’ve been taught to minimise your feelings (“others have it worse” or “you are privileged”), but pain doesn’t get cancelled out just because you have good things too. You can be grateful and still be struggling at the same time. Both can be true.

The nausea, the loss of appetite, the exhaustion you described during your O-Levels are not “just” coping mechanisms—they were real signs your body and mind were under distress. Anxiety can absolutely show up physically like that. And when it goes unaddressed, it sometimes lingers quietly even after the big stressful event is over.

You also asked such a heartfelt question:
“When do I stop blaming it on periods and start realising maybe something is wrong?”
There’s no easy, clear-cut line—but the very fact that you’re asking yourself this shows you’re self-aware. Wanting clarity doesn’t mean something is terribly wrong with you—it means you’re trying to understand yourself better, and that’s a deeply healthy, strong thing to do.

You deserve to talk to someone who can listen without judgment, without minimising what you feel.


Places you can reach out to

Since you mentioned wanting to go quietly for a check-in, here are some psychologist/counselling options where you can self-refer:

CHAT
The Community Health Assessment Team (CHAT) provides confidential mental health checks for young persons between 16 and 30 years old, who are currently living in Singapore. They operate CHAT hub, a mental health centre located at *SCAPE and maintains an online presence through their website and webchat.
6493 6500
6493 6501
https://www.chat.mentalhealth.sg/

Fei Yue Community Services- EC2
LIVE CHAT eC2 is an online facility offering free counselling to youths.

TOUCH Community Services – TOUCHline
Emotional support and practical advice are rendered through this youth helpline
1800 377 2252

School /polytechnic/university counsellor

You can absolutely book a consultation simply to explore what you’re experiencing. You don’t need to walk in with a ready-made label. It’s the counsellor’s :yellow_heart: or psychologist’s job to help you figure it out together, patiently and compassionately.


One last thing to hold onto

You are not “lacklustre.”
You are not “overreacting.”
You are a person with real emotions, real struggles, and real strength. You deserve support without needing to “prove” you’re struggling enough.

I’m glad that you are speaking up and caring about your healing.

Whenever you’re ready, it’s okay to take that next step, at your own pace. You don’t have to figure it all out today. You’re allowed to be a work in progress—and you deserve help along the way. :yellow_heart:

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I think u should probably tell a polyclinic doctor too. U have a school counsellor too