Theres a classmate sitting beside to me. He would often be mean and say really mean things like i have no dad (which is false) and would continuously say that women have no rights and would continue teasing me which lead to me feeling sad. However, i tried to laugh when I hear that so they would not think i care. But today something so bad happened- my classmate lets call him w. w told me he isnt my friend and is talking to me only for entertainment, which i fully agree and understand with- it isnt like he is my friend or if that I like him as a friend either. I was alright with that. However he continued on saying about how I do not have a dad (which i do but he is always pretending i dont and teasing me for it) and when I say it isnt true he would be like- i dun care. when i wanna state anything he would always have so many nasty comments about everything. (he said alot and i dont remember all so im only stating what i remember) he also called me stupid and said my english is bad as f**k⊠and I said that so is his other subjects except english. And then from there it got TENSE. (context-i copy some of his work during english class. not because i dont know how to do but because it saves time. NO, im not saying copying his work is right either which i admit is wrong to copy. ) he told me how bad i am at english. and said if it werent for him i would not be able to do my worksheets and stuff. and he continued on which i cant really remember anymore and we continued disagreeing until the very end and then like when it ended (had to go to another class and pack bags) i felt so cold on the inside. I always feel this way and has felt it alot this year, i was scared and worried. But this worried me alot- he is my table partner! He is right beside me, he could just do something to me! I talked to my friend which has helped me alot and told my form teacher. My friend helped alot but my form teacher said-he will try to change my seating arrangement and said it was only a small matter and didnt need to tell my parents as i was planning to tell my parents. I did not know what i was worried about either, i dont know at all. however, i think the likely reason is that probably i was scared he will do something but i think i may just be scared about what just happened. I cried 2x/3x because of him and i cant stop worrying now.
Hi @user8919,
It sounds incredibly tough to deal with someone who is constantly mean and disrespectful, especially when theyâre sitting right next to you. Itâs completely understandable that you feel sad and worried. No one deserves to be treated that way, and itâs important to acknowledge your feelings and not just laugh it off to hide your pain.
Itâs good that you have a friend who supports you and that youâve spoken to your form teacher about the situation. Even though your teacher might see it as a small matter, itâs significant to you, and your feelings are valid. Changing your seating arrangement could help create some distance and reduce the stress youâre experiencing. Itâs also okay to feel scared and worried about what might happen next; these feelings are natural when youâre dealing with someone who makes you feel unsafe.
Remember, you donât have to face this alone. If you continue to feel scared or if the situation doesnât improve, it might be helpful to talk to your parents, a school counsellor or another trusted adult about whatâs happening. They can offer additional support and help ensure your safety and well-being. Youâre strong for reaching out and seeking help, and you deserve to feel safe and respected in your school environment.
I want to tell my parents but im scared as i never really share much about these- i dun feel very⊠comfortable?? im worried they may ask questions that i would not like to answer and if i dont wanna answer a question, they will force me to and yea⊠please tell me whats the best thing to do?
Hello @user8919
Iâm really sorry to hear about what youâre going through. It definitely sounds like what your classmate did was really mean and uncalled for.
I hear that youâre looking to share what happened with your parents but are worried that about their reaction. I believe that that is a valid and normal response because there might be that fear that they might overreact or react in a way we donât want them to react.
My take is that you should still talk to your parents, we canât really control their reaction but maybe you could sit them down and share as much as youâre comfortable with but also assure them that for now, your teacher has already taken some form of action action but you just wanted to keep them in the loop and get some emotional support.
I hope that your teacher will take the appropriate action, I disagree with him that itâs a small matter, but I really hope your classmate will stop his behaviour and that things will slowly improve.
In the meantime, take care and feel free to reach out or give an update on how things been. Wishing you the best! 
hi @user8919 ,
I feel you, it is so tough and unfair to be treated this way by a classmate! Your feelings are completely valid, and itâs important to acknowledge them, like what others here have already mentioned.
It is good that you talked to your friend and your form teacher about the situation. Having support from others can make a big difference. I would suggest you telling your parents too. Yes i know you may be questioned and you are scared to do, just be honest with them. I believe your parents will want you to be safe (physically and mentally) in school - they would not want to know that your classmate made you cry and worry. You may also seek out the school counselor for support, as what others have already mentioned.
I would also suggest that you surround yourself with other classmates, so to limit your interaction with the person that is making you uncomfortable.
You deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and it is not okay for anyone to take those things away from you.
Dear @user8919
Thank you for sharing what youâve been going through. Reading what you shared, I can feel just how much itâs hurt you. The way this classmate, W, has treated you is cruel, unkind, and deeply unfair. No on deserves to be spoken to or treated like that.
Youâve tried hard to stay strong. Laughing things off, keeping your feelings in, trying not to show that it bothers youâthose are things people do when theyâre trying to protect themselves, and I want you to know that I see that strength in you. But just because youâre trying to hold it all together, doesnât mean you have to carry this pain alone.
Being told you have no dad when thatâs not true, being teased and insulted, and then hearing that youâre only being spoken to for âentertainmentâ⊠thatâs not just meanâitâs emotionally damaging. And feeling cold inside afterward, crying, and being overwhelmed by worry? Thatâs your body and heart telling you this situation has crossed a line. A serious one.
You did exactly the right thing by talking to your friend and your teacher. And even if the teacher said itâs a âsmall matter,â please believe thisâit is not small. Your safety, your peace of mind, and your emotional well-being matter deeply. Just because someone else doesnât see the weight youâre carrying, doesnât mean it isnât heavy.
If your teacher canât see how hurt youâve been, itâs okay to ask another adult for supportâlike a school counsellor or a parent. You donât need to wait until it gets worse. And I know you were unsure about telling your parents, but if you can, I truly believe they would want to know whatâs been happening to you. They love you, and you shouldnât have to carry fear or hurt silently.
Please hear this:
You are not stupid.
You are not weak.
You are not the problem.
You are someone who has been hurt, and you deserve to feel safe and supported. You are thoughtful, self-aware, kind, and strong in ways that maybe you donât even realise yet.
Take your time to breathe. Itâs okay to cry. Youâve been holding so much inside. And even if today feels heavy and dark, that doesnât mean every day will. Youâre not alone, and Iâm glad you have been speaking upâeven when it was hard.
Judging from the number of our peers who have written in to your post shows there is support for you so keep reaching out when you need it. You matter much more than the way someone else has treated you. 
Thank you for the support shown towards my post. However, i do have some doubts about telling my parents about this. 1- my other form teacher in school does not want us to tell our parents and to seek help from teachers instead as telling parents will cause alot of trouble. However whenever somebody tries seeking help from her, she doesnt care and tell them to : solve their own problems. 2- I really fear telling my parents although there could be benefit from it. Today i also ignored âwâ and nothing really happened but he was abit mean but not that bad. Maybe if the situation is worse i should tell a counseller or something instead of my parents whom i feel uncomfortable sharing my feelings about.
hi @user8919 ,
In this case i would suggest you to try approaching your teacher again. May be the first time you approached her (your teacher), she did not fully understand how much âwâ was affecting you. Request for an immediate action from your teacher (e.g., change of seating arrangement).
If she (your teacher) takes no action, then you can approach counselors, or even your parents (again, your parents probably want you to be safe, so do not be afraid to share your struggles with them).
Hey user8919,
It sounds like you are being treatly really unfairly! I am sorry that this is happening to you. Perhaps you can flag this out to another adult in charge - maybe another teacher? - and ask to change seats so that there can be more phydical distance between the two of you.
I can see that he said some really nasty things to you, and Im sure they are all baseless and untrue. I dont think that this is a small issue personally, and telling your parents might be a good choice. It is affecting you really badly, and you do not deserve such treatment. Please take care of yourself!
what world is he living in? haha I think there are people who are just mean for nothing (maybe they want the attention). If going to your parents or teachers is not an option, maybe the counsellor can help! Otherwise weâre also here to hear you out too.
Today I asked the form teacher that promised me to change seats to finally change it. However the seat he changed it to was not gd so it was changed back. After, i told my other teacher and we spent a long time discussing a new seating arrangement to get that mean classmate far from me. However she ended up changing many peopleâs seats. Thus, once everyone came back from break time, they were really upset. Theres this boy that was very upset that this girl (whom he talks to alot) is shifting away. And my two friends were extremely upset with me for changing their seats and say that I have betrayed them. And theres the others that were really upset and broke up the tables (we all have indivisual tables, and we join them to form a row of people) and I felt very scared by it as I didnt know what to do.and the boy that was upset the girl he talked to alot was changed to sit somewhere else, he kicked my table and tried to overturn it making me even more scared. and my friedns r still so mad. and honestly i din want it to happen, i js wanted a change for me and that classmate that was mean, but the cher made it spr different making everyone upset with me now in class. And idk how to tell the teacher to change again on monday as she may be annoyed and idk if i shld tell my mum
oh man I think the teacher is also trying to make it less awkward (compared to only changing your seat) but probably ended up making it worse. how are things since? I hope at least youâre seated far away from that mean classmate
so⊠when i told my parents they scolded me for causing trouble⊠for a wk i was rly rly sad crying everyday but now me and that friend we reconsiled and we are fine and the teacher just changed the seats. so i think im mainly fine now, but thanks for all the support from everyone.
hi @user8919,
Thank you for the update. I am glad that your situation has gotten better. Happy for you! 