Self sabotage

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I struggle with replying to people online. I know this is such a trivial problem but I genuinely feel like people don’t really care about me so why do I bother replying them ? Even when I know I love these people and these people (probably) love me too, I just can’t bring myself to do it, I will do everything to procrastinate and not reply my messages.

I recently had some friendship breakups that resulted in a bad mental health break for me, so I am left really vulnerable and not trusting people

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Man… friendship breakups… sucks so bad… it hurts so much. I can relate. I can’t really give advice, but I really understand you a lot. For me, a really terrible friendship breakup that still wounds me until this day was a friendship breakup with my crush, someone that I still subconsciously think about until this day…

I was wondering: Where have I went wrong? Is it because of me or other people? I eventually started blaming other people for my fallout for some time, but I have gotten better now. My event also gave me a very terrible mental break as well, and I went depressed for a long time before it subsided. She was in a seeing distance, I can see her from afar or in close sight, but no matter how close or how far away she was, I neither get to confess my feelings nor fix up a friendship that I have singlehandedly dropped and crashed into pieces.

I know that I may seem like I was going off a tangent on ranting about how I ruined my friendship due to my hidden feelings (which was probably obvious to her at some point), but trust me, you are not alone in this, @hadley . I felt unloved by my loved ones sometimes as well, as well as not replying to important people (like my family members). In this world, you are not alone. No person in this world is invulnerable, but we can always make ourselves stronger, to be less vulnerable.

Not everyone can be trusted, yes, but there will be some people, who you may meet in some part of your life, that you can certainly trust. For me, it was my crush, who I can trust to be what I consider was a best friend. Humans are social creatures, and they will huddle with each other at some point as humans are not lone wolves. Trust is earned, not bribed with gold. Even if you don’t want to trust anyone who is in your life, you can certainly trust me, and many other people who are collectively going through similar experiences as we do. Remember, you and we are not alone. We go through similar experiences, and we will get through this together.

If you truly feel unloved, we love you over here and you should love yourself too.

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do you prefer face to face instead of online? i prefer face to face. Not replying ppl will make ppl feel neglected and slowly all of them will stop texting you, thus, the self sabotage that u mentioned. some friendships last and some dont. depends on what the motive of each side is and what both sides have to offer in the frenship. ive tried making friends for 6 months n realised people are kinda ghosty or flakey, so i went back to finding frens with similar stuff to create a sturdier connection. open to be frens w u

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Dear @hadley,

Thank you for sharing.

It sounds like you’re going through a tough time, and feeling vulnerable and uncertain can make everything, even small tasks like replying to messages, feel overwhelming. It’s okay to take the time you need to heal and protect your mental well-being.

Friendship breakups can be just as painful as romantic ones, if not more. It’s understandable that you’re feeling hesitant to trust again. Give yourself grace and remember that it’s okay to prioritize self-care. Reaching out to loved ones when you’re ready can help rebuild those connections. They care about you and will likely understand if you explain what you’re going through.

If you ever feel comfortable sharing your struggles with a close friend, it might help them understand your perspective and offer their support. You don’t have to carry this weight alone. :cherry_blossom:

Would you like some tips on managing this or just need someone to talk to?