Sleeping Problems

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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Every time I try to sleep, I can’t. It’s not because I’m not tired, I usually am, but it’s because my body just can’t stop tensing up. I don’t know if bodies are normally this tiring to be in. I feel like I’m always in fear. When I lay down, I can’t breathe properly no matter what why I’m facing and for some reason my heart beats harder and faster when I’m trying to sleep. I can’t tell if this is a physical or mental problem because it hurts physically and mentally. I keep imaging the worst case scenarios and I can’t keep still or close my eyes to sleep so I end up awake the whole night.

Also another thing that when I do eventually doze off, I get sleep paralysis. But my sleep paralysis is different from most sleep paralysis stories I’ve heard. Instead of being paralysed and seeing some scary monster in the corner of my room or whatnot, I get crazy hallucinations, almost like a dream except I’m present and in the real world? Sometimes I can’t breathe, other times I can physically feel my brain vibrating, like someone is drilling something in my brain and I always wake up in a sweat. I don’t know if this is tied back to the anxiety I feel before I sleep but I still feel fear nonetheless. I also can’t sleep after my sleep paralysis because of the fear.

Is this normal? If not, what is it that I’m experiencing and should I get it checked? I didn’t have trouble sleeping in the past but as of late, I’ve just been so afraid of everything when trying to sleep.

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Hey @user6390

Thanks for sharing your concerns. As I mentioned in the other post, you’ve been carrying some fear for so long that even resting feels dangerous. Lying down should be simple, but for you it’s the moment everything tightens: breath, heartbeat, thoughts.

With regards to sleep paralysis being “different from most stories”… That comparison alone can make your whole experience feel even more unreal, like there’s something wrong with you because you’re not matching what others describe.

Before we move anywhere else, maybe we slow this down a little and just understand what your nights are really like:

When you first lie down, is your body already tense… or does the fear hit suddenly the moment you try to close your eyes?

When your breath tightens, does it feel like you’re breathing too fast, or more like the air just won’t reach you even though you’re trying?

And the hallucinations you described, that half-dream, half-awake blur… can happen when someone is beyond tired and the brain slips into REM before the body does. It can be terrifying, but it doesn’t mean you’re “losing it.” It means your system is overwhelmed and trying to protect you unconditionally.

Have you had the chance to seek professional help? Not asking you to figure out if it’s “physical or mental.”, the pain you’re feeling shows that it would be helpful if you get help. And if the breathlessness or pounding heart gets worse, it’s okay to get it checked… because your body is asking for steadiness.

If tonight becomes too much, SOS 1767 or Mindline 1771 can hold space until things settle. No pressure to call, just options so you don’t have to sit alone with the fear.

It makes sense that you’re scared. Maybe we can work on this together?

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Thank you so much for your concern and advice. I plan to have my family monitor my sleep for a while since I happen to be staying over. I hope the shift in environment will make it easier to sleep. I’m not sure why but at my parents, I feel more safer. Maybe it’s because I know people I trust are around. I writing this before I fall asleep to let you know some things I’ve noticed since I first laid down.

For one, I don’t feel as paranoid. Sure, the dark is still ominous and I still feel a bit tense but it isn’t as extreme it was previously. I think it has something to do with the presence of my family being here now. Secondly, the tension is still there the moment I lay down but again, i feel less tense whenever I realize my family is here. Thirdly, I’ve decided to sleep with my head up(as in I’m propping my head up with a pillow to make it so I’m not fully vulnerable and flat on the bed) and It has made breathing a bit more easier now that I’m not in such a vulnerable position and actually could get up and run away if I had too haha.

I’ll update you on how it goes because this is the most comfortable I’ve felt in a long while despite still being a little tense. Thank you again for your advice and concerns. If anything were to happen and if I find this pain getting worse, I will use the sources you have given me. Thank you for understanding, being so helpful and giving me choices for when it gets worse. I honestly feel like I wouldn’t be able to understand my body’s reactions and would’ve still been struggling to sleep as I’ve always been all this time. Thank you again and goodnight🙏

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