Someone passed away during my watch. I feel at fault

Ask a Therapist Seeking Help
1

Security officer at guardhouse… I enter… chat with him 2 mins… telling him I will come chat with him after I’m done with short meeting…

After meeting… come out peep thru window at guardhouse he not at chair so I drove off…

10 mins later my colleague called me that he collapsed…
Check CCTV, the he collapse 3mins before I left (after peeping into guardhouse)… and my car drove off…

I drove back immediately after my colleague called me… i arrived after AB… CPR on him by scdf… within 10 mins sent him to CGH…

I’m the last person he spoke to… sadly he passed on.

3 Likes
2

Hi @Alvinlucas

Thank you for sharing with us what happened, and I’m truly sorry to hear about the passing of the security officer, and I can only imagine how difficult this must be for you. It sounds like a very distressing and unexpected situation.The fact that you were the last person he spoke to adds another layer of complexity to your feelings. It’s completely natural to feel a mix of shock, sadness, and perhaps even guilt.

I would like to encourage you with these suggestions, please do read:

  1. Allow Yourself to Grieve: Give yourself permission to feel the emotions that come up. It’s okay to be sad, confused, or even angry because of what happened. Grieving is a process, and everyone experiences it differently.

  2. Talk About It: Share your thoughts and feelings with someone you trust – a friend, family member, or a colleague. Sometimes, expressing your emotions can help alleviate the weight you might be carrying.

  3. Seek Professional Support: If you find it challenging to cope on your own, consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. They can provide a safe and confidential space for you to explore your emotions and offer guidance on how to cope with the grief that you’re experiencing.

Grieving is a unique and individual process, and it’s okay to give yourself the space to process these emotions at your own pace. I can tell that it’s a very distressing and perhaps even traumatic experience, and I would highly encourage you to seek professional counseling or therapy to help walk you through this grieving process.

Here are some ways you can seek professional help:

You can also try these online options:

Again, please know that it’s normal to have a range of emotions, and your response to this situation is a very appropriate reaction. Please do let us know how you’re coping and if you’ve managed to seek any professional support for yourself. We will be here to continue to support you.

Do take care in the meantime and we’ll hear from you soon.

2 Likes
3

I had spoken to my family and few colleagues of mine. Their reply are all the same and their reply to me were very firm and aggressive to me. However i am struggling to find a closure for what had happened, despite telling them i would like to know what are the ways to have a closure.

I need to know other than moving towards religious, what other ways i could know of (from other’s experience) to give me a closure from blaming, guilt to myself (as a first aider) and diverting my attention from it…

I’m more receptive towards soft approach.

1 Like
4

Thanks for sharing your story @Alvinlucas. I can’t imagine all the complex feelings that you’re going through right now.

I’m not sure what your relationship is with the security officer and whether it will be overstepping boundaries if you can speak with some of his friends and family too. Maybe that could be a way to find closure by sharing the grieving process together.

5

Hi @Alvinlucas hope you are doing better recently it’s never easy going through loss :people_hugging:

Maybe you can share with us what were some fond memories you had with the security officer ? If that’s okay for you no worries if you are not ready :slightly_smiling_face:

1 Like
6

I can’t imagine how this must feel… Hearing what you’ve shared, I truly believe you are not at fault though I know it’s hard to not feel this way. Your actions were understandable and reasonable at that point in time, it’s truly unfortunate that it happened the way it did, I guess many things are really out of our control sometimes. The important thing to recognise here is you wouldve had every intention to help if you knew something was wrong, so it really is harsh on yourself to hold yourself accountable with the lack of knowledge in this case.
Maybe moving forward, we learn to be more attentive within our means. You are in a position to do more good in the future now, and I hope with time, this incident will become easier on your heart. I feel for you. Please take care of yourself :people_hugging:

2 Likes