honestly, i feel so drained and stressed. i feel like it was wrong of me to prioritize my friends over myself, and it has taken a large toll on my mental health. i have to quit what i love the most due to a medical condition, and it’s heartbreaking to leave and join a new environment, especially since i dislike drawing attention. i also have to juggle with my studies, and i feel so drained when i get home. although i didn’t really like hockey because of the people there, but i have a passion for that sport and i still want to continue and unfortunately, i’m just so disappointed that i can no longer pursue hockey. my current environment is so stressing, i have been worrying for the past few days because my friend recently s/h herself and although it was none of my problems, i felt that as someone who loves her friend very deeply, i feel guilty even though i wasn’t the one who harmed myself. i also have to work up to g3, and i feel really stressed as a sec 2 because i have to focus on many other things, but i don’t want others to worry about me. i have plans on consulting to the counsellor, but i still want to share my feelings here because i still have the lack of courage to go up to the counsellor. i’ve been silently crying to bed without telling anyone else, and i can no longer keep in this stigma. i have to deal with so many problems now and i feel so pressured. i’ve repeated so many points in here but i really just can’t .. explain that well. i wish that i was noticed not by my peers, but close friends. everytime i worry a lot, i tend to start pinching my thighs or arms or walking around the school listening to music. i feel that my home doesn’t even feel like home at all, and the same applies to in school..