Hi ,
In the past month i saw myself crashing in terms of mood but i dont ideate the though of unaliving myself. then it shot up to manic and hypersexuality ( Which i heard others with Bipolar when having high do tend to have it as well ) but i did not act it apoun anyone just self pleasing.
Now im more calm after grounding myself in the act of prayers and playing music
I do not know but its hard when im overly stressed and my mood crashes like that
when i was taking my Full Stack Developer course back in 2024 there was a period that i completely crashed and told one of my class Instructor. He emphatised and told me to ease up and even if i dont finish the deadline for the submission i can always retake the module.
I managed to pass it non the less and i think im High Functioning .
anyways, i have been working security for the past 2 years almost and it has taken its toll
12 hours rotating day and night has made me look like a panda with the eye bags
I looking for a way out and i am thinking of taking up an apprenticeship for BIM Building Information Modeling using AutoCad and i fear that i might not be able to cope with the 26 months bond.
and i also have to be upfront with my illness if they ask why i didnt continue with Aerospace as a Mechanical Technician cause the safety protocol is very strict in Singapore and a few years back i did get a call from Honeywell but i had to decline and explain my situation
Now im just having sleepless night and i dont know. Perhaps not being warded for the past 10 years has finally taken its toll. I am breaking down actually.
So yeah if anyone can give me some advice on what i should do with this situation do let me know okay