I have an exam tomorrow, but i feel like ive already given up completely. I searched up my symptoms and I think I understand how my mood keeps getting low because of the high energy anxiety takes up in my brain and I’ve gone from a fight or flight response to just freeze. Knowing this doesnt change anything though, i feel removed from my own mind, analysing my feelings and processing them but not feeling them. I have a history of mental health problems (I think?) Went counselling a few years back, thought i could cope with a support system and my faith. Looked back and realise ive been really struggling the last few months in this limbo state, fluctuating between extreme anxiety and apathy, but its been a built up and my extremities has just slowly become more extreme (if that makes sense). I tell my friends I think I need to go back to counselling in school, but in this context, I will be graduating poly soon and my exam tomorrow is my last ever. Im not sure if this anxiety and stress is caused by my own perfectionism/self expectations to perform well academically only, or if there are deeper issues. Im thinking that if i just get this over and done with, remove myself from academics, I will be okay again. But is this normal? Should I still seek professional help after? I fear this will only get worse when I enter uni.
Hey @user695360,
Thanks for sharing your struggles. You’ve understood your fight–flight–freeze pattern quite clearly. That’s a cognitive response and you’re making sense of what is happening. But most of your coping seems to be happening in the thinking space.
Rationalising can explain anxiety. It doesn’t always regulate it. When anxiety stays high for a prolonged period, the nervous system can shift into freeze. Freeze is behavioural shutdown. The detachment you describe, observing yourself instead of feeling, can happen when the system is overloaded hence a dissociation rather than lack of effort.
You mentioned this has been building for months. The swings between anxiety and apathy becoming more extreme suggests this is not just about tomorrow’s exam. It may be amplified by the exam. But it likely didn’t start there.
One thing to separate: Understanding your mood is cognitive. Attending to your mood is affective. Right now, the affect seems unattended.
If the exam was removed, would the numbness fully disappear? Or would it still linger?
You mentioned possibly returning to counselling. Even if you are graduating, professional support does not depend on being in school. The need is about your internal state, not your academic calendar. Seeking help again does not mean the previous process failed. It means the work is ongoing. That is a healthier position than managing this alone.
For tomorrow, if you can, try to reduce the frame. The goal can simply be “sit through and complete what I can.” Freeze responds better to containment than to pressure. After the exam, it may help to approach this differently from before, go beyond just analysing on your own, but allowing classmates, lecturers, or a counsellor to support you in attending to the mood itself.
One practical starting point in therapy will not be “what is wrong with me,” but:
What meaning am I attaching to performance? What feeling sits under that meaning? That layer usually comes first. Deeper work comes later.
Having structured support before that transition would likely make it more stable. If you want, we can also think through how to approach a counsellor again so the first step feels clearer.