i need to get this out somewhere because i have no genuine support at this point.
im passive suicidal and unable to do much about it. My job is not stable so im unable to move out, away my family, especially my emotionally abusive and worse mom.
she constantly berates me, isolates me, emotionally relies on me, constantly touches me and makes weird jokes about my body or me even when i tell her off or try and set boundaries. she threatens to take away any financial support as well (threatening not to feed me or give me anything anymore) if i ever so much as go against what she wishes.
as a kid she would not only threaten physical abuse but constantly vent to me about her love life (i was only 9 years old)
sometimes i wonder if im overreacting. i want to report her for her abuse but since its not physical i am unable to do anything about it. Not to mention how much the rest of my family currently relies on her and would most likely be affected if I did try and ask for help.
it feels like sometimes suicide is the only option for me to free myself from this. its been over twenty years or more. i tried asking for help. Attempted a therapy session, seeked counseling while i was still schooling, tried the sos while i was extremely suicidal. Many other things. Nobody would help me, or even worse i felt like I was treated condescendingly. Like my problems didnt matter and I should just suck it up and put up with it.
I don’t know what to do anymore.
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Dear @shiningpuppy7464
Thank you for seeking help with what you have been enduring unsupported since you were very young. Hearing what you shared I do not think you are overreacting.
In fact, what you have shared sounds like emotional abuse, coercion, and repeated boundary violations from a person who is expected to protect you.Your feelings are valid and understandable.
I also see you have been your mother’s emotional caretaker since childhood. I believe that her actions are deeply inappropriate and harmful during your formative years as children that age are still figuring out a lot about how the world works. You needed safety and stability at that age but were met with chaos and uncertainty.
I am sad to hear how past attempts to seek support have been futile and even hurtful.
Please do not be discouraged. Mindline has several options for you to explore. Please use the service wayfinding feature.
Reaching out to the mindline counsellors via 1771 is also highly recommended for you to receive immediate support. The hotline is reachable around the clock via phone or WhatsApp. The counsellors can direct and link you to follow up resources.
I can see that you feel trapped in a long term emotionally abusive home and understandably there are thoughts of hopelessness. Please do not give up. Help you deserve is available so tap on these avenues I shared here soon. May I gently check if you are safe right now?
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i am safe right now. at least, thank you for the small amount of support and advice.
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