Tutoring a unique student

one of the students I tutor has some very interesting problems

basically I first got to know this student a few months ago to help with her subjects like maths and english, but for english she seems to be rather illiterate because she barely reads news or reads books even though their school has that routine where in the morning you are supposed to read a book but they claim they don’t actually read

What’s more is that apparently this student is actually a high achiever who always wants higher marks and their other subjects are very good and yet (as explained above) they say they haven’t done anything to improve english. The student has little self-esteem which I observed resulted in more stress and pressure on themselves

The worst part is that today I found out this student apparently breaks the school rules as “therapy” (being distracted in class, major attire problems, etc.) so I eventually told them that could affect their conduct grade since they want to go to a junior college

It’s not my first time tutoring but this is just a unique situation for me to handle and I can’t describe it so accurately because everything in their life seems to be all over the place and feels like a mess. I only recently graduated last year while they are sec 3. Their parents are not in the picture because they are a foreigner who came to Singapore months ago alone, and I am still willing to help them but since it was time for the bed I thought I should discuss the school rules matter tomorrow because I was mostly talking to them about advice to improve english

is there any advice to help this student which I can give to them?

(using she/they pronouns to hide her identity, gender is up to interpretation)

Dear @undying_sun

Thank you for reaching out.

I believe the student you are tutoring is likely struggling with self confidence and bad habits. I gather that although she is aware she is weak in English and needs to work on it, she avoids it as it can be a hard habit to start. She may face initial failure which she fears.

The rule-breaking you noticed is likely her way of coping with stress or regaining a sense of control, especially since she’s alone in a new country without strong support.

May I recommend to continue engaging her in a safe and low pressure manner. I think the following approaches could help:

Start with short and interesting English articles that pique her curiosity. Go through them together during sessions to build understanding and confidence. Give her small, clear tasks like reading one short piece and sharing a couple of points, so she can experience quick wins. Focus on consistency rather than intensity.

When addressing her behaviour, stay calm and link it back to her goals, like getting into junior college and maintaining a good conduct grade, rather than scolding her. I have seen that scolding may build resentment and alienate her.

Contribute to her feeling more confident by pointing out specific improvements she makes so she can see that she is progressing.

I see your role is to encourage, influence and guide new behaviour and habits. You can also help her maintain focus on her goals.

Encourage her, but keep her accountable with transparency, firmness and fairness.:yellow_heart:

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thank you so much, I’ll try my best to help her :heart: