[TW: Religion] I don’t like going to church

I’ve been attending New Creation Church (NCC) since I was able to walk. My parents are devoted Christians and attend Sunday service every week. However, I’ve always felt like I never belonged in NCC. For all the years I’ve been attending, I’ve never made a friend during service. Everyone else seems to have at least one friend, but I always felt invisible. It was the main reason I left during DARE (service specifically catered towards teenagers) The messages they preached always sounded so superficial and , can I just say, I do not like the music at all. It’s sort of pop-songy (I think the genre is technically called christian rock) and I can’t stand it. It feels like they’re artificially creating the “feeling of God” by tugging at your heartstrings with a couple minor chords from an acoustic guitar. It always felt so… fake? to me. (But I like gospel music, it’s so rich and full of life and what I imagined faith to feel like) Because of this, I was super against Christianity and I identified as an atheist for a long time, but I’m slowly mending my relationship with God and I think it’s doing good for my mental health. I just wish it didn’t have to take this long because I was forced to attend a church I didn’t want to be at.

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@owl Hi Owl ! Hope you have been well and thank you for sharing this !
I understand how you feel as I am a Christian myself.
I find that is good you are mending your relationship with god and finding spiritual healing or comfort in it.
We are all different in life, some get to places fast , some get to places abit slower.
It is courageous of you to seek god again do not forget that, do not lose hope and give yourself patience and time.