i’m currently in my first job as an auditor in the big4, but i am so burnt out and i want to quit by the end of the year. i feel like i suck at my job and it’s so tiring, it has been affecting both my physical (sitting at the desk till 2am) and mental health (anxiety attacks, breakdowns). but my peers don’t seem to see that as they are able to understand things and concepts i can’t all the time. i feel so stupid and with the economy and job competition in the finance industry now how am i able to find a job too…. should i change my career since i’m so bad at what i’m doing (but i spent my poly and uni days studying this..) i’ve been crying about this for days
hi there @user9863 ! i can definitely sense how tired and overwhelmed you are from your situation with what you’re describing. it’s one thing to be physically exhausted from your work but it’s also another when it’s affecting your mental and social well-being too. that being said, it sounds like you have some unanswered questions too. whether you should change your career, how to manage everything all at once, whether you’re in the right industry, is it a waste to switch?
i don’t know much about the finance industry so i’m not so sure what are other career-centered alternatives but i similarly left my previous industry due to physical and mental challenges too. it was honestly really hard both to remain in it and to shift out (i’m still finding my footing in switching out zzz). but even though it’s hard, i do find myself happier and able to be present for more things. in a way, i do think the grass may greener on the other side but it’s not all sunshine and flowers. so if switching out is really something you’d want to try, it takes time and effort too. probably just as much to stay within the same industry so it definitely takes time to really find the answers to your questions.
Hey @user9863 ,
Thank you for sharing your challenges you faced in your work and how it has been affecting you. It must have been difficult to deal with these feelings while working. I hear that your current job has been affecting you both physically and mentally, and you’re stuck on whether you should change your career.
It certainly isn’t easy to make such a decision. As @carnello mentioned, the grass may be greener on the other side to some extent. I feel that when something starts affecting not only your physical and mental health and overall well-being, there may be something that is not right. It could be that the environment you’re in now is not suitable for you. But one thing I feel is quite amazing is that you managed to land a job in a big company as your first job, which speaks about the effort you’ve put in during your schooling years, so there may be a chance that you may be able to land another job. Maybe you could try thinking this through and reflect on what you want and what you prioritise in a job? For example, it could be that perhaps you’re alright with earning less but in something you enjoy.
Know that you’re not alone in this and you can always reach out here if you. need a listening ear. Hang in there and stay strong 
its very normal for people not picking a subject that are passion about.
which is a reason why so many people ended up studying a totally different subject to what they first study when they are in their 30s or 40s.
Auditing and accounting is not a isnt job especially at the end of the yr when companies need to close their accounts.
And i have seen auditors still on site at 2am. And its a very mentally straining job, especially when the account dont tally up.
I guess it will be great if you can cling on, its not easy when working in top companies. And its not easy to get in either. And as you mention, the market is pretty bad right now.
But do consider taking a leave and have a short break after you finish your current project.
Do try to give yourself a nice treat at the end of the say by having a good meal or do things that you enjoy. And give yourself a pat on your back every time you complete something challenging.
hey @user9863, i’m really sorry you’re going through this 
. i can hear how exhausted and overwhelmed you are, and that’s completely valid. starting out in the big 4 sounds incredibly tough… but please rmb that feeling like you “suck” doesn’t mean it’s true. so many people, esp when starting out, secretly struggle with the same thoughts. people learn at different paces, and it’s normal to take time to grasp new concepts. early career learning curves are steep, and competence builds with repeated exposure – not with how ‘smart’ you are. not knowing sth now does NOT mean you’ll never know it.
it also sounds like you’ve been trying really hard despite everything, and that says a lot about your effort and resilience. maybe for now, it could help to focus on small steps to care for yourself, while you figure out what you want to do next? eg.:
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set a hard stop time (even 30 min earlier than usual) and leave your desk
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take 5 min breaks every 60-90 min to stand, stretch, get water, etc.
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celebrate tiny completed tasks (eg. “i emailed X”, “i finished this task”)
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track what specifically is tripping you up (eg. technical knowledge, unclear instructions, lack of feedback), so that they feel more solvable and you can ask for targeted help
if you’re thinking about switching jobs, it might help to make a list of your skills (eg. Excel, client communication, report-writing). many of these transfer to other roles – you’re not starting from zero.
you’re doing your best in a really hard situation, and that’s already sth to be proud of. take care okie? i’m rooting for you 
Hi @user9863 ,
Honestly, I feel the same as you. I’m a fresh grad currently in my first full-time job, and every day I feel useless and incompetent (you can probably tell from all my old posts that I’ve really been struggling).
I guess what I’m trying to say is that imposter syndrome in your first job is so real, and it’s really important not to attach our self-worth to the work we do. I know it’s easier said than done — as you can tell, I haven’t exactly managed to do that myself and I’m still struggling too.
But I just wanted to say that we’re in the same boat, so let’s push through together and jiayou! And if it really gets too much, it’s okay to take a break or even quit to rest. We’re still at the very start of our careers — we have another 40+ years of work ahead of us, so there’s no point hurting our mental health over this. Jiayou! Feel free to drop me a message if you ever want to talk more — I’m clearly struggling too hahaha.