After posting a few times in adulting section, trying my best to stay positive, trying my best to stay strong became a strain in my mental and physical health…
Maybe when I tried to think positive, it wasn’t convincing enough…? Yesterday halfway through work I couldn’t take it anymore and I went out to calm myself but ended up taking 1 hour and it because a very serious offence of AWOL… when I was questioned after I got back to the office, I broke down and I talked about my problem to my colleague but at this point I already know that my boss’s decision was to get rid of me once she is back from business trip.
My colleague then clarified that the reason why I’m being fired it’s that i didn’t put in effort in my work (even though I really did), but the results just doesn’t come out nice/good. also of the things I’ve said and done all these months, blaming everyone except myself and not accepting feedbacks.
I didn’t realise I was doing that, I am thankful for her to tell me all these as it made me reflect on the things I had previously done. However, I started doubting myself… I’m doing design as a career and I am starting to wonder if is this the right right path for me… I really like design but I kind of suck at it… and I also suck at communicating with people…
It really makes me question myself, what is even the point of living at all when I can’t do anything good and all I do is cause trouble for everyone around me and I myself am suffocating…
I already am seeking professional help medically (psychiatrist), but I financially cannot afford to speak to a therapist… what should I do… speaking to friends and family about my problem isn’t helping anymore… all I can think about is to end this misery asap…
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through this. Please know that you’re not alone, and there’s help available. Your feelings of helplessness is completely valid and understandable. I think your ability for reflection with a view to improve is a great first step. I observe that though you feel down that your efforts were not recognised, you are objective and forward looking and able to reflect on feedback.
It’s also very human to doubt yourself and start questioning your decision to pursue design as a career when you received the negative feedback.
However, I recommend not to overthink as it is not useful. You already have some experience in this field and can only get better with practice. Perhaps you can consider ways to grow your skills. For example take a look at courses in design and enrol in them. Of course exploring other related fields is another option to tap on your existing experience.
The very fact you put in so much effort and want to be better suggests to me you have the right learning mindset. Even if this company does not appreciate your hard work, keep going. You are bound to find a workplace where you get good supervision and support to grow and thrive. If your mental health is affected by staying on this job do consider alternatives to help you regain your health first before starting a new role.
Meanwhile, please take action to keep safe. For example remain busy and in the company of others.
For immediate support please call the SOS hotline at 1767. I encourage you to also make an appointment with your psychiatrist soon.
Please remember you are strong and brave in seeking help. Do you know you’ve already demonstrated grit and resilience in facing challenges? I believe you have a good learning attitude and a growth mindset. You always deserve compassion and support. You are deeply precious and talented, so stay grounded, take small steps and move forward daily to achieve your goals.
Hello, so I’m actually in graphic design… I am struggling a lot as one and I kept doubting myself if it’s the right path for me… but after talking to my family member, I realised that it really is too late for me to switch due to age and finance. But what I can do is to just better myself maybe by taking up skill future classes related to my field, watch more YouTube tutorials (I’m have been doing this for quite awhile after the ‘wake up call’). It will be tough… and it will take many months and years… but we both have to tell ourselves that we will get there someday…
I did think of that as well but I don’t want to change my career path anymore. Also design is something I really like… talking to a few people made me realise it wasn’t really because of my design, but more on my emotions and personality…. I will work more on my EQ / EI…
I thought I liked and was good at what I used to do, then discovered I wasn’t competent enough and didn’t have the skills for the job. So I found something more suitable to my (in)competencies and (lack of) skills. Just food for thought.
