Im sorry if it’s disorganised because I’m just typing straight out of my brain. I’ll explain things in chronological order till whatever I’m going through now
I’m a uni student, Y2 this upcoming sem but since Y1S2, I lack the motivation to study like I want to, but when it comes to watching lectures, my brain just could not sit still and focus. Random thoughts will just come in my head and I just gotta do something else. I changed environment and got a study buddy but it remains. I ended up failing two modules.
Moving on to sem break. It was a 3 months sem break and I did not leave home for more than 14 days in total. I couldn’t bring myself up to even go out to buy food. My hobby was reading novel and I could focus on a novel for a long time before. Now I couldn’t even go through one page before my mind starts wandering.
I kept telling myself I will go out more and when the time comes, I dread going out. Just stepping out of the house feels tiring to me.
Being at house all days means I didn’t talk to anyone. I severely lack social interactions but I couldn’t even bring myself to reply to my friends because it drains my social battery.
Nothing seems interesting anymore and I just feel nothing all day. No happiness, no sadness, just nothing. I go through my day numb and I just couldn’t bring myself out of it.
I also recently started watching my weight so with the restriction although mild, it took out my joy of enjoying food. It wasn’t too bad for now, but I definitely feel the effect creeping on me.
I just want to change and do well in school again but I couldn’t bring myself out of this chaotic but numb headspace. What is wrong with me and how can I change?
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Hi @user1273,
Thank you for sharing what’s been going on with you. I can tell that you’re going through a really difficult time, and I want to acknowledge how much courage it takes to open up about these struggles.
It sounds like you’re feeling stuck in a place where nothing seems to bring joy or motivation, and that’s got to be incredibly frustrating and disheartening. You’ve mentioned how hard it’s been to focus on your studies, even with the efforts you’ve made, like changing your environment and getting a study buddy. Failing two modules must have added to the weight you’re already carrying, making it even harder to find the drive to keep going.
The fact that you spent most of your break at home, with little social interaction, seems to have created a cycle where even the thought of going out feels exhausting. I can imagine how isolating that must be, especially when you’re craving connection but find it so draining at the same time. Feeling numb and disconnected, like nothing brings you happiness or sadness anymore, is really tough, especially when you just want to feel something different but don’t know how.
It also sounds like things that used to bring you joy, like reading novels, aren’t giving you that comfort anymore. Watching your weight and losing the joy in food adds another layer of stress and makes everything feel more difficult.
From what you’ve shared, it seems like you might be dealing with burnout or even depression. It’s not uncommon for people in situations like yours to feel the way you’re feeling, and I want to emphasize that none of this is your fault. It’s something that’s happening to you, and it’s okay to seek help to get through it.
Here are a few thoughts:
- Start small. You don’t have to change everything all at once. Maybe try setting a small goal each day, like getting some fresh air or reading a few pages of a book. Small steps can help you gain a bit of momentum.
- Reconnect with what used to bring you joy. I know it might feel hard right now, but maybe there’s an activity, even something simple, that could help spark a little interest or joy again.
- Don’t be afraid to talk to someone. Whether it’s a counselor, a therapist, or even a trusted friend, having someone to talk to can make a big difference. You don’t have to go through this alone.
- Be gentle with yourself. It’s really important to practice self-compassion during times like this. You’re dealing with a lot, and it’s okay to give yourself some grace.
You’re going through a tough time, but you don’t have to navigate it alone. Reaching out here is a great first step, and I hope you’ll keep sharing what’s on your mind. We’re here to listen and support you through this.
Take care, and know that you’re not alone.
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