Hi, all Im recently facing alot of issues regarding to my girlfriend’s parents, with them not liking me as much and its been on my mind ever since.
Because of this, im unable to sleep well, eat at all and generally have no interests in any activities. For context, I came from a divorced family and have lost many friends over the years due to disagreements and betrayal. Im afraid to lose another loved one again. What should i do?
Hey @user0939,
I just read what you wrote about “they don’t like me as much,” already shows how much space you’re giving to their opinions… and how small that’s made you feel inside. I can feel the worry in you, not just about them, but about what it might mean for your girlfriend, for the relationship, for the part of you that’s always afraid people will leave once they see the real you.
You’ve lost a lot before, family and friends, so of course your body’s on high alert now. When you say you can’t eat or sleep, it sounds like your body is guarding against another heartbreak. It’s trying to prepare for rejection before it happens.
But here’s something I want you to hold onto… You don’t have to win everyone over to be loved. Maybe start by leaning on your girlfriend a little, ask her, “what made you like me in the first place?” or “what do you see in me that your parents might not yet see?” Sometimes hearing her words reminds your heart that the bond between you isn’t built on perfection, it’s built on care, laughter, shared moments that no one else truly knows.
From there, instead of trying to please her parents, maybe let them see that same grounded, caring version of you, the one she already loves. People often soften when they sense authenticity more than effort. For tonight though, why not focus on rest? Even small things like a warm shower, light meal, one slow breath, to tell your body you’re safe. If you still find it hard to sleep, it’s okay to reach out for a listening ear anytime at 1771 (National Care Hotline) or mindline.sg/get-help.
You don’t have to earn love by over-proving. You’re already someone worth staying for. Maybe let that truth land slowly.
Hello @user0939 ,
It sounds like you’re carrying a heavy weight. Not just the fear that her parents might not like you, but the deeper ache that this could unravel something precious between you and your girlfriend. That fear of being left once people see the real you - it’s about old wounds, past losses, and the way your body now braces for heartbreak before it even happens. When you say you can’t eat or sleep, it feels like your nervous system is trying to protect you from rejection, even if it hasn’t come. That kind of hypervigilance makes sense when love has felt fragile before.
But here’s something gentle to hold onto - love isn’t earned by winning everyone over. Maybe start by leaning into the bond you already have. Ask your girlfriend what made her fall for you, what she sees that her parents might not yet understand. Her words can remind you that your connection is built on care, laughter, and shared moments, not perfection. From there, let her parents meet the same grounded, caring version of you that she already cherishes. People often soften when they sense authenticity more than effort. And tonight, maybe just focus on rest - such as a warm shower, a light meal, or one slow breath to remind your body it’s safe. If sleep still feels far away, it’s okay to reach out to someone at 1771 (National Mindline) or speak to a professional in-person via mindline.sg | First Stop for Mental Health Support in Singapore. You are already someone worth staying for. Let that truth settle in, slowly.