I’m working in my current company for 2+ years now and the imposter syndrome/burnout is getting worst as I have been experiencing anxiety attacks.
It has gotten to the point where I feel so much fear in delivering my work that I procrastinate and miss deadlines. My boss is at wits end with me. Everyday I feel lost and unmotivated at work. I don’t feel like doing anything and I do my task very slowly. I’m not sure if I’m just lazy and looking for an excuse or is this really an issue. But my confidence has plummeted and I honestly feel very lousy and like an imposter at work.
I tried to resign last year but 4 stakeholders had 1-1 meetings with me to talk me out of it and offered me a promotion. It was very uncomfortable experience but what made me stay was ‘insider info’ from one of the stakeholders that the company I will be joining is unstable currently.
Now, once again I have thoughts of leaving (this time without securing another job) and I’m afraid of the 1-1 meetings when I tender and I’m not sure if I am just looking for an escape. I’m scared that if I am just looking for an escape, the same pattern would repeat anywhere I go.
Dear @motivatedmoon5715
Thank you for reaching out. I sense you are experiencing anxiety and burnout and that is not you being lazy. I also gather that the work situation has been very challenging.
Reading your post, I believe you are currently stuck in a vicious cycle. First there is fear of not meeting standards, this therefore leads to procrastination/delay and eventually missed deadlines. This cycle is common and I have seen many people struggle with self doubt and low confidence as a result.
I have noticed that the decision whether to stay or leave in a job is usually best decided after reviewing pros and cons of each job.
If however the decision mainly driven by anxiety and self-doubt, do address that first to better manage it such that it does not distress you. Otherwise there’s a chance the same feelings could follow you in to the new job.
From your sharing I can see signs that the current job is draining and unfulfilling. It’s understandable why you feel the push to leave.
Do take your time to decide next steps. If possible take some time off to re-centre yourself and evaluate what is important for your wellbeing. You do not need to justify your decision to anyone but yourself.
Most importantly, you don’t have to figure everything out right now. It might help to first focus on stabilising yourself, getting some support, reducing pressure where you can, and taking small steps to rebuild your confidence.
You’re not alone in feeling this way, and the situation will improve so keep your chin up.