Hi,I’m a 14 year old. I’ll try my best to explain my problems if there is any words that might confused. I feel like I’m constantly being pressured by my school works,not getting good grades and always getting scolded by my father and he would constantly call me stupid for being careless, forgetful or when I’m unsure of things.It has been quite some time that I developed a habit of constantly pulling my hair,whether if I’m conscious about it or not,I’m not sure when it started but around last year 2023,maybe because I was stressed by school.It does effect my hair and I want it to stop. This year,I lost all my 3 friends,one of them was my best friend,she said I was being too negative. Second one,was that she was always looking down at me,so I couldn’t take it. The third was the last friendship,I really like her personality but because I was feeling tired of always caring too much for them,I ended up just giving up on our friendship and let her be with her friends and that she might be happier with them instead of me.ive been told that I’m always negative, negative thoughts,and the way I looked tired,unhappy or “emo”.I want to stop this,I want to have a healthier lifestyle,I want to he motivated,less stress.maybe learn how to be responsible,take care of myself.
About my family problems,it was till about this year I sort of realised I had childhood trauma when I was 6-8 years old. When ever I made mistakes,my father would hit my head with his fist and I would cry and cover my head if possible,till today I wonder if it affects my daily life and is this why it causes me to become stupid? The reason is because I kept being scolded for being so stupid when I grow older and how I was smart when I was a baby/kid, that’s what my father told me. I really want to know is it really true? And how can I stop constantly pulling my hair and have a healthier lifestyle.
School counsellor, sleep your full sleep n go for a run when u feel like plucking ur hair. Bald spots will make u even more depressed
Hi everythingisgloomy
Thank you for sharing your struggles. It takes courage to acknowledge and seek help. I observe from what you have shared that school has been stressful and it has been hard to keep up your studies. This has impacted confidence. There has also been challenging situations with classmates. A hair pulling habit has been troubling you. I am sorry to hear about the adverse childhood experiences you had when younger.
However in your message above, I also sense that you have a lot of determination and drive to improve your life by living a healthy lifestyle. I encourage you to keep making small changes daily. Slowly, the result will be felt. Here are some recommendations:
Engage a therapist who can understand trauma and help you with:
- School pressure and low self-esteem
- Hair pulling habit
- Friendship issues and feelings of negativity
- Childhood trauma and its impact
- Desire for healthier lifestyle and self-improvement
- Practicing stress management techniques
- Finding alternative habits to replace hair pulling
- Focusing on self-compassion and positive affirmations
Remember, seeking help is strength, and you deserve understanding and support♥️.