so i have been dating this girl for a few months now before her back to back trips everything seems to be going super well, however her last trip was something that caused me to feel super uneasy and led me to overthink aLOT. Her text was super cold, as compared to the past 2 trips she attended to there was still the typical good morning and good night text but during this trip there wasn’t anything like this at all… I know that maybe my text to her could seem clingy but its just my way of showing concern… i have however apologies to her about it but she seems to brush it off and now that she’s back in the country (in fact we are supposed to meet for dinner today) and she told me she’s feeling unwell so I did offer if she need anything and also a check up on her how she’s feelin but there isn’t any reply it just feel almost to the point she don’t even feel like talking to me… but most importantly she did say “i will see you another day ok” i know i should take that literal text meaning but i do not know why i overthink it to the point whereby my overthinking thoughts is saying “she said this is to make me feel comfortable? or is it she doesn’t wanna end things on my birthday? so she decided to say shes feeling unwell and wanna” In the past i used to have mild panic attacks which i can overcome but this time round the panic attack is so bad that i felt my chest is dropping from a high level kinda feeling. Im really struggling this badly i used to be super carefree just doing the things i like and now im just finding everything just so uninterested …
Dear user1291
Thank you for bravely coming forward on this forum and sharing about the challenges you are facing. I am sorry to hear what you are going through. How you are feeling is completely valid and 100% understandable.
I fully agree with you that panic attacks are scary. Fortunately they are not life threatening. May I encourage you to ride the surge of overwhelming emotions through :
-Deep Breathing: Practice deep breathing exercises to counteract hyperventilation, a common symptom during a panic attack. Inhale slowly through your nose, allowing your abdomen to expand, and then exhale through your mouth. Repeat this several times until you feel calmer.
-Grounding Techniques: Focus on your surroundings to bring yourself back to the present. This can include naming five things you see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This method helps distract your mind from panic and reduces anxiety.
-Challenge Negative Thoughts: When experiencing panic, remind yourself that the feelings are temporary and not life-threatening. Challenge catastrophic thoughts by asking yourself, “What is the worst that could happen?” and “Can I cope with that?” This reframing can lessen the intensity of your fear.
-Stay Present: Focus on what is happening around you rather than what you fear might happen. This can involve engaging in a simple task, such as counting backward or lightly snapping a rubber band on your wrist to redirect your attention.
You have also mentioned you tend to overthink. To cope with overthinking, may I suggest:
-Pay attention to your thoughts and emotions. Ask yourself questions like:
What emotions am I feeling?
What thoughts are leading to these feelings?
Understanding the root causes of your overthinking can help you address them more effectively.
-Make room for the emotions, do not fight them, acknowledge them and ride them out. After a while, the intensity will subside. As for thoughts, observe them like words on a screen, instead of holding on to them tightly. Slowly the thoughts, will reduce their grip on you.
Once both of you are ready:
-Communicate Openly
Share your feelings with your partner. Often, overthinking arises from a lack of communication. By discussing your concerns, you can clarify misunderstandings and reduce anxiety. Use “I” statements to express your feelings without sounding accusatory, which can foster a more open dialogue. Seek first to understand before being understood. Allow her to share her concerns and listen without judgement.
-Set boundaries and expectations so that there is an increase in clarity on what is respectful and acceptable by both of you.
I encourage you to take small steps and try the above tools and techniques for yourself. Additional support from a therapist could further help you. Please keep well! 
Hi thank you for getting back to me about the steps and methods and we are meeting this Saturday to talk…
I do not know why most of my thoughts is about she wanting to ending things when there is no evidence that says that…
But I did set up the messages that says to talk about boundaries and expectations due to her replies becoming uninterested in me and in turn she agree and she only can be available for 2 hours so I do not know if this is good or bad I’m feeling super super down