im being excluded and sexually harassed in an altar server community, recently in camp i was being again excluded even by those at the same age.
anyone has advice?
Dear @perspectives,
Just wanted you to know that you have done right by sharing your concerns on your own safety and boundaries. Right now, before we even talk about “what to do,” I just want to check you’re not holding this alone.
- Have you had any chance to confide this with someone safe (a trusted senior altar server, youth leader, chaplain/priest, teacher, or parent)? Even one person who will take you seriously?
- When the exclusion or harassment happened, can you recall if anyone else was around like friends nearby, bunkmates, other servers, facilitators? Not to “collect evidence” right now, but to know whether you had potential witnesses/support in the moment.
I need you to keep safe, if you’re still in contact with that group, your first job is to keep yourself safe: don’t stay one-on-one with the person who crossed the line, and if you need to be in the same space with the perpetrator, try to stick near people you trust.
And if at any point you feel unsafe or cornered, it’s okay to step out and get an adult immediately. If you’re in Singapore and you need someone to talk to urgently, you can reach National Mindline 1771, or SOS 1767.
Are you in a comfortable position to reply? You can keep it simple: was this in the last camp (recent), or still ongoing now?
If this is ongoing or has happened more than once, your safety comes first. Please involve a trusted adult immediately; a parent, guardian, relative, or responsible adult and have them accompany you to make a formal report with the authorities. This is not something you are expected to manage on your own.
You’re not imagining this, being excluded by people your own age can feel deeply unsettling. It often leaves you wondering where you stand, or whether you somehow don’t belong, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
It makes sense if this has left you feeling hurt, confused, or quietly alone. Many people in your position don’t get angry or dramatic, they just go inward and try to cope. That doesn’t mean it matters less.
What you’re experiencing deserves to be taken seriously. You deserve to feel safe, respected, and included, especially in a community that’s meant to offer care and support. Let us know if you have any concerns in approaching the authorities?
Dear @perspectives ,
Thank you for sharing this. How are you right now? Could I gently check that you are currently somewhere safe or with somebody you can trust? Sexual harassment and exclusion are not small, and it is very brave for you to raise it here. Have you consider raising this up to anyone who can help, or even filing a police report? As @FuYuan_Affections has also rightfully mentioned, you should not stay one-on-one with the person who has hurt you. Please stay safe and we are here for you!
Hi @perspectives, I am so sorry to hear you went through that, this is no small matter and I hope you reported this to a person of authority! How are you feeling and coping now? Please take care and update when time permits!