sexual harassment

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1

Today, something very disturbing happened, and it made me feel revolted and deeply unsettled. I am still a minor, and people often say that I have a baby face and look younger than my age.

This morning, while taking the LRT as usual, I was seated and facing the door. After a while, I looked up because I felt that someone was watching me. I saw a middle-aged man standing diagonally in front of me, staring at me continuously. My instincts immediately told me something was wrong.

He then took out his phone, turned his body slightly away, and held the phone below his waist at an upward angle facing me. I was shocked and froze, unable to react. He continued leering at me. When I frowned at him, I heard a clicking sound from his phone. It was obvious to me what he was doing.

I felt like crying and looked around for help, but no one else seemed to notice. The people nearby were either on their phones or could not see what was happening from their angle. I felt helpless, scared, and deeply disappointed. I did not confront him because he appeared unhinged, and I was afraid of what he might do to me.

I later told people I knew, but some of them acted like it was not a big deal. Only my family was concerned and advised me not to use the same route. Since then, I have been living in constant fear. I worry that he may upload the photo online, misuse it with AI, or that this could lead to stalking or further inappropriate behaviour.

People may ask why I did not speak up or question him, but at that moment, I was terrified. As a minor, I felt powerless and unsafe. What happened was obvious to me, and it has left a lasting emotional impact.

2

Hey @user1657,

I’m really sorry this happened to you, and it’s clear how frightening and unsettling that moment was. You sounded shocked and unsafe, the freezing, the fear, the urge to cry while looking around for help. That is what it can feel like when someone violates your sense of safety, physically or psychologically. There is nothing weak or wrong about how you responded.

I’m also sorry to hear that after you told people, some of them brushed it off. When something this disturbing is minimised, it can make the fear linger even longer. It can leave you questioning and doubting yourself, even though you know what you saw and felt.

You were a minor, in a confined space, and someone was watching you in a way that felt wrong. That alone is enough to shake anyone. I want to say this clearly: your fear makes sense.

Right now, it may help to remind yourself that you are no longer in that moment. You are not facing him anymore. You are with people who care about you. You’re in environments where help exists, even if it didn’t feel visible at the time.

You did what you could to keep yourself safe. Not confronting him was not a failure, it was a protective decision in a situation that felt unpredictable. Many people only know what they wish they had done after the fact, but in the moment, you chose safety.

If your mind keeps running ahead, worrying about photos, technology, what might happen, try to notice that this is fear trying to regain control after losing it. For this moment, it’s enough to help your body feel a little steadier again. If it helps, you can reach out to National Mindline at 1771 for support and guidance.

If something like this ever happens again, these are options, not obligations, and you can get immediate assistance:

  • If the train is still moving and you feel unsafe, move toward a more crowded cabin. If at any point, you were physically harassed, handled or assaulted by a stranger, hit the emergency button nearest to you.
  • If the train has reached a station, leave the transit immediately and go directly to the control station and approach ground staff and tell them you feel unsafe.
  • Describe what you noticed as best as you can. You do not need perfect details.
  • If you feel unsafe or threatened in the moment, calling 999 is appropriate.

You don’t need to rush yourself to “be okay.” It’s understandable if you still feel shaken, jumpy, or uneasy in public. What happened mattered, and you deserve to be taken seriously. We can slow this down and take one piece at a time.

3

Hi @user1657,

I’m sorry to hear that this happened to you. What you experienced was a violation, and your feelings of fear, disgust, and unsettlement are completely valid. It takes courage to share something this traumatic, especially when some people have minimised what you went through. The fact that you’re now living in fear and worry shows just how deeply this has affected you, and you deserve support and validation.

Personally, I am deeply upset and disturbed by the fact that there are men who think that such behaviour is acceptable. These perverse actions are serious violations of women’s rights, and you deserve all the support you can get during this time.

Please know that there are resources available to help you. AWARE’s Sexual Assault Care Centre (SACC) provides support for survivors of sexual crimes, including voyeurism and upskirt offences. You can reach their helpline at 6779-0282 (Monday to Friday, 10 am to 6 pm) to speak with trained counsellors who can offer emotional support, information about your options, and guidance on reporting if you choose to do so. You don’t have to go through this alone, and seeking help is a sign of strength.

Resources:

https://www.aware.org.sg/womens-care-centre/sexual-assault-care-centre-sacc/

4

I’m really, really sorry this happened to you. What you described is not okay, and your reaction of freezing, feeling scared, not confronting him is a very normal response to a threatening situation. You did nothing wrong.

You trusted your instincts, and they were right. What that man did was inappropriate and disturbing, especially given that you’re a minor. The fear and disgust you’re feeling now make sense as something about your safety and boundaries was violated, and that can leave a deep emotional impact even if no one else “noticed.”

I’m especially sorry that some people brushed it off. When others minimise experiences like this, it can make the fear and self-doubt worse. Please know this: it was a big deal, and it’s valid to be shaken by it. You weren’t weak or overreacting, you were protecting yourself in the moment.

I’m glad your family took you seriously. If you feel able to, you might consider telling a trusted adult, school counsellor, or making a report with the transport staff or police not because you did anything wrong, but because he did, and you deserve support and protection. Even talking to a counsellor can help with the fear that’s lingering now.

For now, be gentle with yourself. What you went through was frightening, and healing takes time. You’re not alone, and you deserve to feel safe.