Hello, I’m writing in again because I just feel like I have to say it.
Situation: This all started when I had a competition brief in the library. I had this guy in CCA that relentlessly asked me questions about anything, be it food, where I live nearby, whether I go out etc. Some of his questions are more interesting as ‘Do you have a boyfriend’ or ‘Do you have a crush’ or ‘Do you like somebody’ which are roughly the same but he’s asking it differently. As I preferred solitude, I tried to leave as fast as I can when given the opportunity, since I didn’t want him to follow me back to the busstop. First session, it worked out because I cut staircases, but on subsequent sessions, I felt so guilty that I bothered looking behind to make sure he wasn’t following me. He ended up going with me to the bus stop, but fortunately, he took a different bus home. On one occasion, there was e-CCA. He asked whether he could go with me to the busstop together. I said no, and he could still ask whether I was sure. I said I was sure… But when I went back to my usual bus stop and went closer, he was there using his phone. I felt uncomfortable, so I took a detour home. By then, I have started documentation to report him. On the days we went to the usual bus stop (Unwillingly), he tells me that he has an ex and that his ex in primary school, told others not to befriend him… He also told me that people talked behind his back. That made me feel pitiful. However, when I was going to my elective and came back to my original class (The guy is under SBB for this, so he went to my class and I went to another), people were ignoring me. I was surprised at first, and when I went home, someone texted me that he was talking about me and multiple girls in class and how he would talked to me during CCA. I felt kind of betrayed here since I thought he was talking about me without ‘telling me’. A day after, I asked the elective students in the same class as me, whether he was indeed talking about me and multiple girls. Many of the students heard it, and that honestly made me hurt, because he was talking about me and other girls so loudly that pretty much everyone heard it. After considering the canteen encounters (How he would buy me a drink, seat nearby me, directly behind without our knowledge, etc. Worth mentioning that I troubled my friend to relocate seats so that I can avoid interactions with him, but he found me rather quick. I had to relocate seats again when he was returning his meal once, and I could see him walking around the canteen)
After the CCA encounters, and what others (Including ChatGPT) advised me (They said he’s weird, stalking like etc), I decided to inform the form teacher and CCA teacher through WhatsApp.
The form teacher told me that this issue has been surfaced to the year head, and will continue to update me, while the CCA teacher said that we will be separated during CCA, and have no reason to interact or work together.
The allied educator found out and gave both of us a chat separately. He tells me that this ‘stalker’ is trying to befriend me but unsure how to, which honestly made me feel bad, like I misunderstood him or something. He said that I should talk to the ‘stalker’ upfront that I’m not okay with this. When I decided to talk to the guy about his actions directly, I could see him nervous and he explains why he was at the busstop ‘seemingly’ waiting for me that day, why he kept moving seats, which I won’t reveal entirely. He says that he was running an errand and going back to a mall… Doesn’t make sense since the bus doesn’t go to that mall… I took his response with a grain of salt.
Recently, I have told my CCA teacher and the allied educator that he stopped following me after I had a lengthy talk with him. They say that’s good and I thought that the case was finally over at first. However, the form teacher said that multiple girls have reported him before about the same issue and that investigation will continue.(Surprised because I told her every encounter but not the multiple girls, seems like they found out during the investigation) Now, I’m worried that the other teachers don’t know of this investigation (CCA teacher and allied educator) because only the form teacher told me that it has been launched. I can also see that my form teacher is not on the same page with the allied educator, since my form teacher is taking this seriously, while the latter is defending him.
Could he actually know what he is doing? He has been reported before and he has been talked to before. I’m afraid that he would get furious when he finds out an investigation is launched. I now wonder if the allied educator knows about this too, but I’m nervous to tell him. He seems to think that the case is closed. Now, I’m questioning whether reporting him was the right idea. Maybe I should have told him directly then report if he did not listen… But I choose to be indirect (Use phone in CCA, give terse answers, run off after CCA, move canteen seats, etc). Was I right to report? What do I do now..?
You’re def not alone, since other girls have also reported him. Maybe he really doesn’t realize how his behavior comes across, but either way, the investigation might help him get clearer boundaries.
