so done with everything. seems like theres something going wrong in every aspect of my life, be it my family, having to deal with my temperamental and emotionally immature father as the oldest sibling while my mom is away for trip. my friend group feels like its falling apart, we have issues with my close friend in our group and cant bring it up to her as shes really unstable rn, the guilt in “talking behind her back”, yet all my pent up fustrations abt her piling up. dont have anyone to turn to as all my friends are lowk depressed too, dont want to add more stress on their plate. losing passion and drive for the sport i used to love. my appetite has gotten less. think all my feelings caused me to be unable to focus and study, or maybe im js making excuses for my laziness lol. have a test on tues that i definitely didnt prepare well enough for due to the above, and homework has been pilling up. have been calling/texting sos and mindline the past nights, as i really really wanted to die. started to sh again. nothing makes me feel better, not talking to the helpline, cutting myself, journalling, drinking my favorite drinks, meeting my friends. idk iv thought of js ending it all so many different times already, why not js do it lol. iv been wanting to go polyclinic to get a referral but im scared cos my parents wld have to be ard and i have to talk to the doctor abt what i feel which seems so intimidating, but i think ill still go. waiting so long for my mom to be back to go is like gonna literally be the end of me lol. dont want to go with my dad cos hes the reason for some of my emotions.
Dear @thegreatwar
Thank you for reaching out. I see that a lot of things are coming at you all at once understandably you are feeling deeply exhausted. Anyone else would feel the same too. Far from laziness, I think it is a sign that you are overwhelmed and overloaded. I encourage you take deep breaths to ground yourself and re-centre to the present moment.
Please know this is a difficult period and reaching out for support is very important. I’m also deeply concerned that you’ve been hurting yourself and thinking about ending things.
For now, focus on getting through tonight:
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Put some distance between you and anything you use to hurt yourself
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Stay somewhere less isolated (even just a common area)
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Explore options through mindline.sg and its Wayfinder tool to find support that fits you such as online counselling or free counselling.
It would be good to speak to the doctor and get the referral and I am glad you are already thinking of doing so. Let the doctor know that you have been feeling really low, alone and need urgent help.
Please know that you are never a burden of having these feelings. Seek support immediately, you do not need to carry this load alone any longer.
May I check if you are safe right now? If you are feeling overwhelmed please head down to the nearest hospital A&E dept. You fully deserve care and support.