Honestly I feel that cutting people out of our lives are the most painful yet best thing to do for yourself but sometimes I ask myself was that the right thing to do?
I believe that that no one should have the rights to disrespect me and by letting someone who constantly disregards my feelings or opinions, brushing me off when I bring certain topics up to hold them accountable. It’s doing me a disservice however, I knew them for years but I’m not sure it might be the change in my mindset that I no longer find myself putting up with these nonsense
So sometimes we should know when it’s time to let go of friendships and relationships as some would just stop growing and evolving while we continue to outgrow them. I don’t feel it’s necessary to put a blame on the individual as they might not see the wrong in their actions but more often then not it’s the principle of their actions not so much of what they did.
Yeah. I just move on. I felt like im begging those ppl to hang out w me. I just went for meetups instead to make new frens. See how it goes
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You are right in saying that it’s not necessary to put a blame on individuals. After all, we can’t control other people’s actions. yes, it might be a pity to cut off a long term relationship but it is also a mechanism to priortize yourself first and to allow room for yourself to grow and progress
Hello @user1373 thank you so much for opening up and sharing something so personal. I can really feel how much reflection and emotional strength went into making that decision. Letting go of someone you’ve known for years, even when it’s the healthiest choice, is never easy, and it’s okay to sit with that discomfort and doubt.
You are absolutely right. No one has the right to disregard your feelings or disrespect your boundaries. The fact that you’re recognising this and choosing to honour your own wellbeing shows real growth and self-respect. That’s not selfish, it’s necessary.
Outgrowing friendships or relationships doesn’t mean the connection was meaningless or bad. Sometimes, people grow in different directions, and it’s okay to release relationships that no longer align with your values or emotional needs. That doesn’t mean there has to be blame. As you said so insightfully, it’s often not about the specific actions, but the principles behind them.
You’re allowed to want relationships that are reciprocal, respectful, and emotionally safe. You’re allowed to grieve what was, and still stand firm in what you need moving forward. It’s not weakness to feel conflicted. It’s a sign that you care deeply and that you’re navigating this with maturity and compassion.
Whatever you’re feeling right now is valid. I hope you can give yourself space to feel it all. The sadness, the relief, the confusion, without judgment. You’re doing what many struggle to do: choosing yourself in a world that often teaches us to do the opposite. And that takes courage.
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yep i agree, sometimes there’s just no better alternative other than cutting someone off, even though it might feel really bad at that moment, im sure you’ll benefit ko my term!! it’s very good that you were able to take this step for yourself :))
people come and go, but that’s just life 
wishing you all the best!
Letting go of someone you’ve known for years is never easy, and your reflection really captures that bittersweet truth. Choosing peace over prolonged pain can feel confusing at times, especially when the person wasn’t outright bad, just repeatedly dismissive in ways that slowly chipped away at your worth. You’re absolutely right tho…it’s often the principle of how we were treated that hurts more than a single action. Walking away doesn’t always mean blaming them…it simply means finally honouring your own growth.
Personally, I give myself a quiet 3-month space rule, not just to reflect, but to observe. Has the person come to recognise the impact of their actions? Or are they living unbothered like nothing happened? If it’s the former, maybe the door deserves a gentle knock again. But if it’s the latter, then walking away wasn’t cruel, it was clarity. I know this phrase is a bit overused but…we can’t control how others show up, but we can choose what we allow in.
You’re allowed to choose peace, even when it hurts. Or in your own words, the most painful yet best thing to do for yourself.
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Oh wow! That’s a huge step and honestly same it always felt very one sided or unequal when it came to the effort reciprocated
Hi @user1373,
What you’re expressing is deeply valid. Choosing to walk away from relationships that no longer honour your emotional safety is an act of courage. Prioritising your well-being is a necessary act of self-respect. When someone repeatedly disregards your feelings or brushes off your attempts to hold them accountable, it chips away at your sense of worth. Staying in that dynamic out of guilt or history would only prolong the harm.
Cutting someone off doesn’t make you a bad person. It means you’ve recognised your boundaries and chosen to uphold them. It’s not always about what they did, but about the intentions behind it. This may include hurtful intentions, such as disregarding your boundaries, putting you down, and dismissing your voice.
Emotional growth often requires pruning, even when it hurts. And sometimes, that may require us to make difficult decisions, such as cutting off people who choose to remain unaware of how their hurtful actions affect others.
To be honest, you do seem like a person who’s very self-aware of what’s working (and not working) for you. Keep honouring your decision to surround yourself with people who respect your boundaries, value your voice, and contribute to your emotional well-being. You got this! 
Best regards,
HanSolo2000
Befriender | let’s talk by mindline
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Dear @user1373,
What you shared is truly profound and full of wisdom. Choosing to let go of friends because we outgrew them hurts, but choosing to stay in a place that drags us down will eventually hurt us more, you shared this beautifully.
You are also totally right in mentioning that we should not put the blame on individuals, these words of wisdom come from a strong sense of respect and maturity from your end and I must acknowledge you for that.
The journey of growth can often feel lonely, where people come and go, but remember that you are not alone and that wanting companionship is totally okay, okay? Many people rather choose comfort over authenticity. The fact that you are choosing authenticity takes much courage and I want you to know that your actions are well admired. As you outgrow your past friendships, you make room for newer and more fulfilling ones. You grow and grow and grow, and keep growing yeah?
Wishing you a fruitful growth journey ahead, remember to ground yourself on who you are and not what others think you are, or what outside factors say you are. Explore, expand, grow. Take care of yourself too, may you find great people in your life~
I’m rooting for you, many hugs and strength💙
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