Is it normal to cry/tear easily?
- Tearing when I get misunderstood or sometimes disturbed by others.
- Tearing when I get really angry at others.
- Tearing when others bully or scold my loved ones.
It is not to the extend where I can’t stop the crying, but I would usually have to hide my tears and quickly calm myself down to stop before others sees it.
At some point, I’m actually ashamed of myself tearing easily at things that others may seem not necessary to be upset about.
There was once where there was a period of time I was vulnerable and needed help. One of my family member helped, and I wanted to gift as return to show appreciation but was then rejected. That family member helped unconditionally made me tear up as I felt touched by kindness.
Any idea how to take more control of my emotions?
Dear @Whispering
Thank you for reaching out. I personally believe crying is natural and normal and therefore I don’t think you are weak at all. I have observed that at certain moments which matter to us, we feel emotions deeply and crying helps us release these emotions. Examples include feeling misunderstood, holding anger, protecting people you love, or being touched by genuine kindness. I feel we can’t help but respond by crying when we undergo intense emotional experiences like these.
The fact that you can calm yourself down suggests to me that you already have some control.
Sometimes crying is the only release and it can provide relief too. I sense you feel ashamed of crying because you may have learnt that emotions should be hidden. Please know you are not weak or wrong if you cry.
I can certainly relate to feeling moved to tears by unconditional help or kindness. I see it as being a natural part of being human so I encourage you to be compassionate to yourself when this happens.
To control or regulate emotions, start with small steps such as practising being more mindful of your thoughts, emotions and sensations. This can give you some space to slow down a little and choose your response.
Speaking to a counsellor may also help you learn specific techniques to apply when needed.
Aim to manage the intensity but do allow yourself to feel. I think learning to steady yourself while also honouring what you feel is true strength. You are already doing this, so keep at it to gain mastery. 