I can’t get things right the first time from education to relationships, I just feel that I’m always gonna end up like this whatever bad things that happened to me is my own doings, I just genuinely don’t know what to do anymore, my mind is just overthinking at night, I have lost interest in almost everything from things I enjoy, I’m just gonna be a failure for the rest of my life and it’s all my fault I messed up so hard, I had a thing with this girl last year for a period of time I was happy being with her till an incident happened which was mainly my fault I haven’t stopped blaming myself for it as that was the reason why it ended, I have apologised for what I have done and we kept in touch with each other, earlier today I told her how I felt again she said she couldn’t give me another chance as she said she wasn’t one to give people chances, I tried to convince her to give it some thought but she said the answer was still gonna be the same, now I’m just here being hurt and depressed at 330am blaming myself for everything, I’m sorry if some parts are random and irrelevant I’m really tired and I couldn’t sleep my mind is just constantly thinking about things right now.
Hey @user2481
It takes a lot of courage to talk about the things in life that don’t work out as you meant for it to be, thank you for sharing with us, I can tell it has been a very tough time for you. 
Sometimes we can be too harsh on ourselves, blaming ourselves for the mistakes that we’ve done in the past, no matter how small they are. I do not know about the incident that you mentioned, which you attributed most of the fault to yourself, but I would suggest perhaps you could think, were there other external factors that might have led to you doing what you did? You mentioned that this was your first time too, right? Doing something for the first time is not easy, and we are bound to make mistakes, simply because we didn’t know better.
But what’s important now is that we now know better. We know how we can avoid making the same mistakes again. You are not a failure — you’ve shown that you are willing to become a better person, from the fact that you’ve apologised to her and that you are actively self-reflecting.
So please don’t beat yourself up over it. Give yourself ample time to grief and get over her. Take things one step at a time: go out with friends, spend time with your family and take some time for healthy self-reflection. Celebrate the small wins in your life, and most importantly, have faith in yourself that you will learn from this experience and become a better person. Don’t feel afraid to talk about your feelings when they feel overwhelming; your family, friends and others here on let’s talk will be willing to lend you a listening ear. Take care of yourself, okay? I’m rooting for you! 
Dear @user2481
Thank you for sharing your experiences. I can sense how heavy everything is for you right now. You’ve been carrying a lot, and it’s completely okay to feel overwhelmed — especially when it’s late at night and your thoughts won’t let you rest.
Please don’t be too hard on yourself for not getting things right the first time — whether it’s in school, relationships, or life in general. That doesn’t mean you’re a failure. It means you’re human. Nobody has it all figured out, and nobody gets through life without regrets or pain. What matters is that you’re trying, learning, and that you care — and that already speaks volumes about your strength.
I know you’re blaming yourself for what happened with her. It’s clear that you’ve taken responsibility and tried to make things right — and I know how painful it must be to not get the second chance you hoped for. Rejection from someone you care deeply about cuts in a way that few things do. But just because she couldn’t give another chance doesn’t mean you’re unworthy of love or forgiveness — it simply means she’s made her own choice, and that doesn’t erase your growth or your intentions.
It’s also okay if things feel empty right now, if the things you once enjoyed feel far away. That doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re tired — emotionally, mentally, maybe even physically. Your mind is doing its best to cope with a lot of pain, and sometimes the way it reacts is by shutting things down. But that spark, even if it feels gone now, isn’t lost forever. I believe you can find your way back, little by little.
You’ve already survived so much — and just the fact that you’re still here, still talking about it, still trying — that’s a good start. Please don’t believe the voice in your head that says this is the end of the road for you. You are not a failure. You’re someone who’s hurting, and that’s not the same thing.
Be kind to yourself. Try to rest — not everything has to be solved at once. And when you’re ready, take it one small step at a time. There is a path forward for you. And you don’t have to walk it alone.
Please know that you are enough and you matter. And you’re going to make it ! Reach out here whenever needed. 
About the incident I’ve talked to some friends about it and got some opinions but it’s only from a male perspective I don’t have female friends to talk to about this, what happened was the day before the incident happened she told me she didn’t want to do anything intimate, but when she came over she kept trying to tempt me into doing things with her which I said no the first 2 times but after awhile I caved into and kept asking her which she also declined but I kept harassing her till she said yes but I realised too late that it was wrong so I didn’t do anything, the next day I apologised to her about it. I heard from a mutual friend that apparently she told her that tempting was meant to be a joke but at that point of time for me it didn’t felt like a joke there was nothing hilarious about it, I understand I bear accountability for harassing her but I just can’t stop thinking if she just didn’t try to tempt me that day everything would just be so much different I’m not justifying that my actions weren’t wrong, it is but it just that most of the interactions all started because of what she did and deep down I wished she would try to understand it from my perspective but I haven’t asked her about it, I do plan on doing it but I know my hearts still hoping that she would change her mind and give me another chance after explaining my side
Edit: I just remembered that when she tempted me I also said no twice but she kept doing it till I broke and caved into it.
Hi @user2481, thank you for sharing more about the incident. Reading through it, I can sense that it is affecting you very badly and you’re still hoping to mend the relationship.
From what you’ve described, it seems that it was a misunderstanding that led to her feeling uncomfortable by your actions. I can tell you didn’t harbour any ill intentions, and I affirm you for being brave enough to take responsibility for your mistake.
You seem to be looking to mend the relationship, and I empathise with you. But at the end of the day, a relationship is a two-way street; if she chooses to leave, you can’t force her to stay.
You don’t deserve to be shackled to your past, wondering about all the what-ifs and small details about the relationship. Sometimes, it is better to close the door on this chapter of your life, and embrace what lies ahead of you. Only you can give yourself closure; only you can forgive yourself for your mistakes; and only you can give yourself permission to move on.
The process of moving on will be tough and gruelling, but that’s okay. I know you would want to talk to her, but give yourself the necessary time and space alone to heal. These one-time experiences do not define you and make you a failure. We all make mistakes, and being willing to learn from it and become a better person is the first step towards success.
Don’t be afraid to reach out here if you need any support, okay?