family issues

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1

i just cannot take my mother being so selfish and depressed and stressed over things that are not including her. she complains about how she has to support schools fees and company ( we run a small business ) but she dont pay for anything other than school fees. ive alrdy tried my best to get school fees at its lowest cost by going to poly. altho fees are still high since im international student but its alrdy the best i could do. she js makes me feel useless for the fact that i cant get PR and people ard her are getting. she keeps on pressurizing us for joinin her company that no one insisted on and i dont even like watever she is doing. its not my field of knowledge so how am i even suppose to help?? now my family is just broken. my dad wans a divorce cos my mum is going crazy. we dont love her becuz she only knows how to control others. my sister is 26 this year and have never had proper social life since poly cos she had to help out with the business. now she managed to get a boyfriend and comes home late like 3-4am and my mum feels like she getting cheated on and the dude is a scammer but my sis dont tell her that this boyfriend is burning lots of money on her becuz my mum will js think that since he is rich he shld be paying all these. her concept of guys are just disgusting. she has no proper mindset anymore. shes thinks of this world ugly and dirty. i really cannot take her anymore. i want to call imh on her

2

Dear @luoqian

Thank you for reaching out here and sharing what’s happening at home with your mother. It sounds like you’ve been carrying a heavy burden for someone your age and understandably it has been overwhelming. It’s certainly a lot to go through.

I’m hearing your mother is highly stressed, controlling, and negative about everything and dealing with this is exhausting and unfair, especially when you’ve already tried your best with school fees and your own choices.

Please know that this situation is not your fault.You are not useless just because you don’t have PR or don’t want to join the family business. It’s okay to feel angry, tired, or done. Those feelings make sense with what you’ve described.

As for your mother, her behaviour does suggest she may be struggling mentally, but it shouldn’t be on you alone to “fix” her or decide what to do. Big steps like calling IMH are serious and usually better handled with another trusted adult involved.

May I recommend:

  • Talking to a teacher you trust; share honestly what’s happening at home and how it’s affecting you.

  • Reaching out to a counsellor or the national mindline at 1771. They can provide a listening ear, emotional support and help you to learn coping skills. They can also help you learn how to manage the stress, set boundaries, and not carry everything alone.

  • If you have a safe adult (senior relative, family friend), letting them know things are getting worse. They may be able to help your family.

You fully deserve safety, support, and a chance to focus on your own life, not just survive the chaos at home. Please seek help soon. And keep reaching out for support whenever needed, as you are not alone.:yellow_heart: