Hi. I constantly feel like I am a bad person. And thinking of past memories that I did something not nice. Like I didn’t accept and follow someone’s instagram who I lied that I was going to somewhere else after meeting up as a group and she had no car or and facility I just didn’t want to be with her. And now that really triggers me that I was not being nice to everyone evenly and personally not including that person and ignoring while being nice to anyone else and it makes me feel bad. And she sent me request like 4 times and I didn’t accept it.
I think I just hate ppl thinking of me as a mean and bad person
What should I do
Dear @user7849
Thank you for writing in to share what you are experiencing. I can sense you are carrying some guilt about past encounters. Since then you reflected and now wish you had responded differently.
Please don’t feel alone, many of us also have made decisions that we later want to redo. From your sharing I can see that you value kindness a lot and these episodes stick out as they are not congruent to what you value. Do be kind to yourself; sometimes it’s ok not accept a social media invite or accompany a friend if you don’t feel up to it. It does not make you a bad person. I think saying no does not reflect on your character. We are only human to want privacy or our own space at times. We also cannot control how others judge us; all we can do is be authentic and live by our values.
You don’t have to sort through these feelings alone. Talking to a therapist could help you work through why this situation is sticking with you and how to be kinder to yourself moving forward. It might feel scary, but it could give you some relief and clarity. You deserve support. Do keep reaching out here too whenever needed.
Hey @user7849. Thanks for opening up about this. I hear you. It’s really tough when old memories start replaying and making you second-guess who you are. But the fact that this still bothers you shows you have a really caring heart. Many people who truly are unkind never pause to think about the impact of their actions but you clearly do.
From how you write, I see someone kind, reflective, and genuinely wanting to do better. That’s the opposite of a bad person. I just want to say that you deserve compassion too.
You mentioned that you hate people thinking you’re a mean or bad person and that’s such a human fear. Many of us want to be liked, respected, or simply understood. And honestly, the guilt you’re feeling now seems less like a sign that you’re bad, and more like a reminder of the kind of person you want to continue becoming.
Be gentle with yourself as you sort through this, okie? You’re growing, you’re learning, and that counts for a lot. Sending you warmth and wishing you moments of calm and self-acceptance ahead 