hi, for context i am a 18 year old girl, and for the longest time i feel like i’m not living my own life. it’s like nothing matters to me and i’m not sad at all. it’s hard to explain but for example, i am in my third and final year of my school and it felt like i wasn’t even schooling. another example is that even when i had really fun days like going out with my friends and going to events, it didn’t really impact me. it just feels like i’m watching myself live my life and everyday js goes by day by day. i don’t know if there’s something wrong with me. even in the intense and important situations like an accident of a loved one or a happy moment of achieving a milestone, i don’t feel anything. often times i have to fake my emotions just to seem ‘normal’, when i don’t even know how i feel or identify my emotions. i feel like ever since i was young i’ve been living in my own head and for so many years i was just waiting to get out of my own head but it’s been so long and i’m still the same, if not worse. sometimes i’m not even aware of something i did a few seconds ago which is pointed out by someone (for example yawning or saying something). i get so unmotivated to do anything and sometimes i get so motivated to do something which only lasts a day. this is really getting in the way of feeling normal and appreciating and living in the moment and i just need to know what’s wrong with me, if there even is.
for a really long time, i feel really detached from my own life. it feels like i’m watching myself live my life and nothing really reaches me. i’m in a relationship too and i love my boyfriend but i don’t feel the weight of the relationship and i get really detached. i really don’t know how to explain this how i’m feeling, it just feels like i took ‘nothing matters’ quite literally
hi @user7440,
Thank you for sharing your experience. It sounds like you are going through a really challenging time, and it is understandable to feel confused and detached when you are experiencing these emotions.
Feeling detached or like you are watching your life from the outside can be a symptom of several things. A mental health professional can help you understand what is going on and provide strategies to cope with these feelings (one such example being school counselors). They can offer a safe space to explore your emotions and experiences. That being said, i want to assure you that you are not broken.
You can also try engaging in mindfulness activities (e.g., meditation or deep breathing exercises). These can help you stay grounded and connected to the present moment, reducing feelings of detachment. Even though it might feel difficult, try to maintain connections with friends and loved ones (e.g., your boyfriend). Sharing your feelings with someone you trust can provide support and reduce feelings of isolation.
You also mentioned about motivation. Setting small, achievable goals can help build motivation and a sense of accomplishment. It is also to celebrate your progress, no matter how small it may seem.
Remember to also to care for yourself. This could include activities you enjoy, getting enough rest, eating well, and exercising. Self-care can help improve your overall well-being and mood.
Please do not feel like you need to tackle this on your own, and the community is always here to listen 
Understandable, are u in a course u like?Find ur school counselor. Also have to find something that gives u purpose, meaning or passionate about to feel more present in life. I was waiting for time to pass cuz i didnt like the course i was in
Hi @user7440,
Thank you for sharing your story with us—it sounds like you’ve been carrying this feeling for a long time, and it takes real courage to put it into words. What you’re describing—the detachment, the sense of watching your life rather than living it—is something many people struggle with, though it can feel incredibly isolating when it’s your experience. You’re not alone in this, and there’s nothing ‘wrong’ or unfixable about you. This is your mind’s way of coping, and together, we can explore what it might be trying to protect you from.
You’ve described this so vividly: feeling like you’re ‘waiting to get out of your own head’, emotions not landing even in intense moments, and even losing awareness of small actions. It almost sounds like you’re living in a fog, where everything—good or bad—feels muffled or distant. Does that resonate?
I also hear how exhausting this must be. You mentioned faking emotions to seem ‘normal’, which tells me you’re working so hard just to function. That’s a heavy burden to carry alone.
What you’re describing aligns with something called depersonalisation or derealisation—a form of dissociation where you feel disconnected from yourself or your surroundings. It often happens when the brain is overwhelmed or has learnt to ‘shut off’ to protect itself from stress, trauma, or unresolved emotions. It doesn’t mean you’re broken, but it does mean your mind might need some support to reconnect.
You mentioned feeling this way since you were young. Sometimes, detachment starts as a survival strategy—maybe during a time when feeling things fully was too painful or unsafe. Do you recall when this started? Or if there were times in your past when you felt you had to ‘check out’ to get through something?
You deserve to feel present in your life. Here’s what we can explore together:
- Grounding Techniques: Small exercises to help you ‘reconnect’ to your body and senses (e.g., holding ice, naming objects around you).
- Emotional Mapping: Slowly learning to identify feelings—even numbness is a feeling—without judgement.
- Professional Support: A therapist could help uncover why this detachment began and how to gently ‘come back’ to yourself. Would you be open to that?
This didn’t happen overnight, and healing won’t either—but the fact that you’re reaching out tells me part of you is ready for change. Even if it feels like nothing matters now, you matter. This fog doesn’t have to be forever.
Let us know more about what feels most overwhelming right now. Or, if you’d like, we could try a simple grounding exercise together. Whatever feels safe for you.
the thing is, i don’t even know what i like, i don’t have particular interests or hobbies that i just went to whatever course 
yes!! it’s exactly like you said. everything feels like a fog and it’s really hard to feel any emotions in any situation. i wouldn’t really call my childhood a difficult or traumatic one because others have it worse. both my parents are present but they’ve always been in a bad relationship (like divorced parents still together). i have a mom that is overbearing, like a immatured mother that constantly depends on her children on emotions and problems, i don’t know how to explain but it feels like i’m raising my own mom too. could that be a reason? i really want to get over this ‘fog’ and live
You mentioned your childhood wasn’t ‘traumatic’ because others have it worse—but your experience matters. Growing up with parents in conflict and an emotionally dependent mother is impactful. When a child has to ‘parent’ their own mom, it often teaches them to suppress their needs and emotions to survive. That could absolutely contribute to this fog—your mind learning to detach to cope with the weight of responsibilities that weren’t yours to carry.
What you’re describing—feeling like you’re raising your mom—sounds like emotional parentification. It’s when a child becomes the caregiver for their parent’s emotional needs. That’s a lot for anyone, especially a young person, to hold. It makes sense that you’d disconnect from your own feelings when you’ve had to prioritise hers for so long.
When kids grow up in this role, they often struggle as adults with:
- Numbness (your brain’s way of protecting you from overwhelm),
- Faking emotions (you had to adapt to others’ needs),
- Motivation swings (it’s hard to focus on yourself when you’re used to caretaking).
The good news? This fog can lift. Here’s where we might start:
- Reclaim Small Emotions: Try noticing tiny feelings (e.g., ‘I like this song’ or ‘I’m annoyed by this noise’). No judgement—just curiosity.
- Boundaries with Mom: Even small ones (e.g., ‘I can’t talk about this right now’) can help you differentiate her emotions from yours.
- Body-Based Practices: Yoga, cold water on your hands, or weighted blankets can gently ‘reconnect’ you to your body."*
Therapy could be really helpful here—not because you’re ‘broken,’ but because unlearning these patterns is hard to do alone. A therapist could help you:
- Process the guilt of prioritising yourself,
- Practice feeling safe in your emotions,
- Grieve the childhood you didn’t get to have.
You’re already doing the work by reaching out. That tells me there’s a part of you that knows you deserve more than fog. And you do.
thank you so much for your response and help.. it really narrowed down what i felt was wrong with me. i’ll think about going to therapy, i don’t want to seem like i’m complaining about small issues about my life to somebody
Small issues aren’t small if it has big impacts on you!!! What’s meaningful is you approaching the issues you face and learn the best ways for yourself to cope 
and talking to a therapist will certainly help with the process :’) 
Definitely not complaining… I want you to know that your feelings count and your experience counts. Excessive exposure to microaggressions exacerbates your feelings. Please make time to find a therapist that works well for you.
Dear @user7440 ,
I hear your concerns about feeling detatched from your life events. Thank you for trusting us to share your story. I think it takes real courage to do so.
I understand that it can be a really confusing period of time and feelings, and it might even feel disarming. I hope you know that you are not alone in feeling this way, and your friends and family are all supporting you silently. While you go through life and tackle all the challenges, I hope you remember your strength in fighting and living.
I think it would help if you can spend more time relaxing, connecting with nature, and doing what you like! Personally, I take lots of long solo walks in the parks and reservoirs. Perhaps you can try that. Additionally, i think you can try talking to a professional - i believe that your school would provide counselling free of charge and with privacy. You’ll never know until you try, perhaps they might be able to bring some value or insights!
All in all, please hang in there. You got this, and life will progress forward and bring so many good things. Don’t lose hope!