This started happening two and a half years ago, evrythng since then has been getting blurrier and blurrier but I can the memories from before that are significantly more vivid and real.
I don’t feel emotionally distant or anything like that, but more so physically, like I’m watching television. It literally feels like I’ve been watching TV for the past two and a half years and I feel like the world seems not real, or like I’ll wake up suddenly from a really long dream.
Also, this all started a year after I moved a long distance to a new school, new environment, but I thought I handled the change well.
That said I realized a while ago I never fully process big changes in life, I understand they happened but it’s like I never really “get” it or smth. Also is seeing a static overlay normal? Especially visible when I close my eyes, like a screen of blinking white dots.
Hi @Fyvgduf2,
Thank you for opening up about your experiences. It takes a lot of self-awareness to say what you’re going through, and it sounds like you’ve been feeling quite disconnected from the world around you. That sensation of watching your life like it’s on a screen or feeling like the world isn’t real can be unsettling. Like yourself, there are also many people who experience this during times of stress or after significant changes, even if they don’t immediately realise it.
What you’ve described, including the vivid older memories and the less clear recent ones, may be linked to how you process big life events. Moving to a new school and environment can have a deeper emotional impact than we often acknowledge, even if it seemed manageable at the time. The sense of not fully “getting” major changes might be your mind’s way of protecting itself or needing more time to adjust.
The static overlay and physical sensations, like the fast heartbeat and shaking you mentioned, can feel overwhelming, even if they don’t show outwardly. These might be signs of heightened stress, which can happen when our minds and bodies are trying to manage too much at once. It’s not unusual, but it is worth paying attention to.
To help with these feelings, grounding exercises could be useful. For example, you might try focusing on your surroundings by naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. Physical activities like walking or holding a familiar object with texture can also help bring you back to the present.
Reflecting on the changes in your life, like moving schools, may also help you feel more connected to what’s happening now. Writing about these experiences or talking with someone you trust could help you make sense of them in a way that feels real to you.
If these feelings continue or make it hard to go about your day, reaching out to a counsellor or therapist could be very helpful. They can work with you to better understand what’s going on and give you strategies to feel more grounded and connected.
It’s clear from what you’ve shared that you’re really trying to make sense of this, and that’s an important first step. You’re not alone, and with time and the right support, it’s possible to feel more present and in control.
Hi @Fyvgduf2,
It sounds like you’re going through a really tough time. It’s understandable to feel disoriented and disconnected from reality after such a significant life change, even if you thought you were coping well on the surface. Moving to a new place can be incredibly disruptive, and it’s possible that the impact of that change is still unfolding for you.
The feeling of “watching television” and the blurring of recent memories suggests a sense of detachment from the present moment. It’s as if your mind is struggling to fully engage with the current reality and instead is preoccupied with processing the past or anticipating the future. This can be a symptom of anxiety or even a form of dissociation, which is a defense mechanism that helps people cope with overwhelming emotions.
The static overlay you describe can also be a sign of anxiety or stress. It’s not uncommon to experience visual disturbances when you’re feeling overwhelmed. These can include seeing spots, flashes of light, or even the sensation of static.
However, if these feelings are persistent and interfering with your daily life, it’s crucial to seek professional help. A therapist can provide you with tools and strategies for managing your anxiety and processing your emotions. They can also help you understand the root causes of your feelings of detachment and work through any unresolved issues related to your move.
Please remember to be gentle with yourself during this difficult time. Allow yourself to feel your emotions, even if they are uncomfortable. Engage in activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as spending time in nature, listening to music, or practicing mindfulness. And don’t hesitate to reach out to friends, family, or a therapist for support.