I have been feeling extremely insecure over my looks lately and it is really pulling my self confidence down. I have always been insecure about my appearance for years now and last year it got really really bad to the point that I was crying when I was on vacation cause I didnt like how I look. Like I would just stare at the mirror and just start crying out of anger for how I look and how no matter what I do to try and look better I still look bad. Then this year it is a bit better cause I had to lock in for jc so it was like a distraction but now that it is the holidays again the feeling is back again. Recently I changed my glasses too and I look horrendous in it and that made me feel upset. I am unhappy and frustrated that no matter how I change my appearance I still look bad and I feel so hopeless and I feel so invisible because of how ugly I am. And I dont want to hang out with my friends because I am too insecure to leave the house which makes me feel so guilty too.Even when I do end up meeting them, my mind will keep on feeding me with insecure thoughts and when my friends are really pretty I will feel even worse like I will start thinking that strangers probably feel pity for me because of my looks, but i dont want to be viewed that way. Even if thats not whats really going on, thats what is going on in my head . So then i am walking around the mall feeling like disappearing so that i can just be sad.I keep on trying to remind myself that everything is fine and that I am oevthinking it. But everytime I see my own reflection in public I just want to disappear and it feels like thats all that I am thinking about 24/7. And it is really hurting my self esteem. And I really want to know how to get out of this hell cause I am so done for 5 years now I am still feeling like this but even worse.
Dear @user9230
Thank you for courageously writing in to share about what you are going through. What you’re describing sounds deeply exhausting and painful, and it is understandable that you feel worn down after carrying these thoughts for years. I gather that the constant feeling of being attacked because of how you look, avoiding going out, and comparing yourself to others have deeply hurt your self-esteem. It is clear you are in pain and are currently struggling.
Please may I gently highlight that no matter how intense these thoughts are, they are only thoughts and not necessarily accurate or true, so hold thoughts lightly. I have observed that when insecurity becomes overwhelming and persistent, our mind learns to focus fully only on it and this magnifies the negative judgements even more. The fact that it reduced slightly when you were busy with JC also suggests this is something that can change, even if feels not possible right now.
Hearing how this has been affecting your life for so long, may I gently encourage you to consider speaking to a counsellor soon. They provide a safe non judgmental space for you to talk about the thoughts and beliefs you have about yourself, and how best to cope with them so that you can live better. The counsellor will be able to help you unpack negative thoughts and beliefs in a way that these lose their strong grip on you and thus reduce the distress it is causing. You could also call the national mindline at 1771 to speak to a caring and competent counsellor if you require immediate support. The hotline operates 24/7.
Getting support is an important step as you are clearly hurting a lot. I encourage it as it is an act of self compassion which you fully deserve.
You don’t have to get out of this “all at once,” and you don’t have to do it by yourself. What you’re feeling is real, and help is available.
Remember that you are precious, unique and matter. Please continue to reach out for support whenever needed and know you are not alone. Sending you loads of warmth, love and care.
Thank you for being so open and courageous. It sounds incredibly painful to live with those thoughts day after day. Feeling that insecure, comparing yourself to others, wanting to hide when you see your reflection… that’s a lot of hurt to carry, and it makes sense you feel exhausted and worn down by it.
The way you describe it, it isn’t just insecurity, it feels like something that’s been weighing on you for years, shaping how you see yourself and how you move through the world. I’m really sorry you’ve been going through this, especially on your own. Your feelings are real, and they matter.
I hear how lonely and invisible you feel, and how much it hurts when you’re around people you care about but your mind keeps tearing you down anyway. That push-and-pull sounds draining and heartbreaking, and I want you to know you’re not “being dramatic” or silly but you’re struggling with something really deep and painful.
I’m here with you. If you want to share more, I’m listening , especially about what these moments feel like for you on the inside. You don’t have to hold it all in by yourself 
Heyy I just want to say that whatever you are experiencing will not stay forever.I used to be a victim of insecurity,sometimes it would be so bad that I would wear a mask during school just so people won’t see my face.But I want to say that it will be over soon,one day,you will meet people who will truly love you for who you are,not matter how you look,and I hope when that day comes,you will learn how to love yourself and not care how you look,because,at the end of the day,we will all look old and saggish
So it’s okay to feel insecure right now,but this will over soon and one day I hope you will be able to walk on the streets and realize that you are beautiful and other people thinks the same
Hey @user9230 ,
Thank you so much for sharing what you have been going through and for being so vulnerable. It sounds that these thoughts that have been with you has been weighing you down and affecting your daily life, especially when it comes to meeting people. It must be exhausting to combat these thoughts on top of your studies and it is clear that it’s a struggle for you daily.
I want you to know that you’re not being dramatic or silly for feeling this way. You deserve support and help for this! If you’re open to it, would you consider seeking help with a professional, maybe a counsellor at your school? A counsellor could help you to work through these thoughts and feelings you may have.
Remember that you deserve to get help, and that you’re not alone in this. Please reach out here on this platform if it feels too overwhelming for you. We are here for you 
Thanks for replying. I am trying to seek therapy online but it requires parent’s consent and i do not feel comfortable to tell them what I am feeling and I am not confident that they will understand how I really feel too. U mentioned school counseling but I am not comfortable with my school mates knowing that I want counseling as I do not want to tell them what it is that I am going through. So I am feeling a bit hopeless now