Feeling like a burden

Ask a Therapist Is This Normal?
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Since young, I will think that I am a burden to everyone when I rant/tell them about my emotions or other things. After a while, I can sense that they withdraw or distance themselves from me. And I don’t know why would they do this and I don’t have the courage to find out if I have in some way offended or burden med them with what I said.

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Hello @user373895 thank you for sharing this. I hear that it feels really scary and lonely to share your emotions, especially when you sense people might be pulling away. It makes sense to worry about being a burden anyone would feel that way if they’ve noticed distance after opening up. At the same time, sharing your feelings doesn’t automatically make you a burden, and many people actually appreciate honesty even if they don’t always respond perfectly. It might help to start small when sharing, or gently check in with someone by saying something like, “I hope I’m not overloading you, can I share something?” That way, you can express yourself while feeling a bit safer, and you’ll slowly build confidence in opening up without blaming yourself.

1 Like
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Dear @user373895

Thank you for sharing. I think it’s understandable that your mind automatically generates thoughts that you are a burden when those you confide in react by distancing themselves. You may have developed beliefs since young such as your emotions were not welcomed, so your mind automatically interprets no response with thoughts such as*“I said too much,” “I burdened them,” “I did something wrong.”* You are likely to infer they are rejecting you.

I have seen that people distance themselves from us at times because :

  • they don’t know how to respond emotionally

  • they feel overwhelmed by their own stuff

  • they aren’t equipped to offer support

None of that means our emotions are too much, not important or inappropriate.

It’s also understandable that you don’t feel safe asking for clarification. That may risk more rejection and hurt.

Please know you are only human to express emotions. Doing so does not make you a burden.

May I gently suggest engaging a counsellor to help you unpack where this belief came from and how to build safer ways of sharing. You don’t have to figure this out alone. :yellow_heart: