Sometimes when I ask for help or talk about my problems, I feel like i’m mentally draining to them or i am forcing them. Im the type of person who needs validation so I would need to constantly talk about my problems as a way to calm myself down. It is hard for me to open to others because they will be frustrated do not care even if they say they do.
Hi @Rachelle,
Thank you for sharing your feelings with us. It’s incredibly brave of you to open up about what you’re experiencing. I can see that you’re dealing with a lot, and I want to acknowledge how challenging it must be to feel like you’re mentally draining others or forcing them to listen.
It sounds like you have a strong need for validation, which is completely natural. We all need to feel heard and understood, especially when we’re dealing with our problems. It’s hard when you feel like opening up might frustrate others or that they don’t really care, even if they say they do.
Needing to talk about your problems as a way to calm yourself down is a valid coping mechanism. Sometimes, just voicing our concerns can help us process and understand them better. However, it sounds like you’re worried about burdening others, which can make it difficult to reach out for support.
I can see that you’re a thoughtful person, and that keen awareness sometimes makes it even harder to deal with the need for self-validation. Finding a balance between seeking support from others and validating yourself can be really helpful. Here are a few things you might consider:
Think about who in your life is genuinely supportive and willing to listen. It might be a close friend, a family member, or even a support group. These are the people who can provide the validation you need without feeling drained.
It’s okay to ask for help, but it can also be helpful to set boundaries for yourself and others. You might start a conversation by asking if it’s a good time to talk and being mindful of how often you reach out to the same person.
Developing self-validation techniques can be empowering. Journaling, mindfulness, and self-compassion exercises can help you process your emotions without always needing external validation. Remind yourself that your feelings are valid and it’s okay to feel what you’re feeling.
Consider talking to a therapist or counselor. They are trained to provide the kind of support and validation you need and can help you develop strategies to cope with your feelings. They can offer a safe space to explore your emotions without fear of judgment or frustration.
Create a validation toolkit. Collect affirmations, quotes, and messages that resonate with you and make you feel understood. When you’re feeling overwhelmed, refer to this toolkit to remind yourself that your feelings are important and valid.
Remember, asking for help doesn’t make you a burden. It’s a sign of strength and self-awareness. The people who care about you want to support you, even if it doesn’t always feel that way. Sometimes, they might not know how to show it, or they might have their own limitations, but that doesn’t diminish your need for validation and support.
You deserve to feel heard and supported, and there are ways to find that balance. Keep reaching out and exploring different ways to meet your needs. We’re here for you, and your feelings matter.
Take care, Rachelle, and keep believing in your worth and the importance of your feelings. Let us know how you feel?