Put in a situation where I’m forced to pick between a long-standing friendship and a potential romantic relationship. For the past two weeks I’ve been doing some insane compartmentalisation in my brain to seem okay but sometimes the compartments fall apart and I crumble because I don’t know how to deal with this much conflicting decisions within myself and it’s affecting my self-esteem quite a bit. I can feel myself being avoidant and dissociating sometimes. I’m not even sure what I’m feeling to be honest. But the fact that I’m even considering between the two choices makes me feel like the ultimate betrayer and I hate it.
Thank you for writing in your share the position you are in. It’s understandable how conflicted and torn you are currently feeling. When two important relationships are involved, it creates a lot of inner conflict, and it makes sense that you feel overwhelmed and unsure of your own feelings. Having to constantly “compartmentalise” just to function can be very exhausting. I believe it is inevitable that some of these emotions go into overdrive and spill over.
I also think that being avoidant or a bit disconnected can also happen when our mind is trying to cope with too much stress at once.
I observe you may be carrying more emotional pressure than you can process all at once.
Seeing that you’re struggling with this decision tells me how much you care about the people involved. Please know that to consider your own feelings does not make you a betrayer. It just means you’re human and trying to navigate a complicated situation.
May I suggest giving yourself a little space from making a final decision right away. Sometimes talking it through with someone you trust, journalling your thoughts, or focusing on what values matter most to you can slowly bring more clarity. Slowly, the situation will feel less terrible.
You don’t have to have everything figured out all at once. It’s okay to take this one step at a time while you sort through what you truly feel. Do be gentle with yourself as you navigate and come to a more satisfactory outcome. 
Hi there, thank you for sharing something so personal. That sounds like an incredibly heavy position to be in. Being forced to choose between a long-standing friendship and a possible romantic relationship can create a lot of inner conflict, and it makes sense that your mind is trying to compartmentalise just to get through the day. When those “compartments” fall apart, the emotions you’ve been holding back can rush in all at once, which is why it can feel overwhelming and confusing.
The fact that you’re struggling with this decision doesn’t make you a betrayer. It actually shows how much you care about both people and about doing the right thing. When two important relationships pull you in different directions, there often isn’t a perfect answer that keeps everything unchanged. Feeling torn, avoidant, or even a bit disconnected from your emotions can be your mind’s way of coping with that pressure.
It might help to slow things down and give yourself permission not to have the answer immediately. You don’t have to resolve everything all at once. Sometimes taking a little space to understand what you truly need can make things clearer. Talking through the situation with someone you trust, or a counselor, can also help you process the feelings without having to carry them alone.
Right now, the most important thing to remember is that having conflicting feelings doesn’t make you a bad person. It just means you’re human and trying to navigate something complicated while caring deeply about the people involved. Be gentle with yourself while you sort through it:)
hii, that sounds really overwhelming 
being put in a position where it feels like you have to choose between two important people can feel horrible, because it doesn’t feel like there is a right answer. no matter what you pick, someone gets hurt, and that makes the whole choosing thing feel wrong.
in addition, the guilt makes sense, but even having the thought of weighing the two does not make you a betrayer. it’s just that you’re confronted with a super hard decision, where there are real feelings involved and real stakes. in this situation, it’s reasonable to try and move forward with the decision making process.
i just wanted to add on that this doesnt have to be a burden that you carry alone, and maybe you could consider confiding in some people you trust, and allow them to help