Troubled/Conflicted

Hangouts Rants
1

Hi,

Wanted to get this off my chest. Recently, I felt attracted to my co worker that is currently attached. We have been working together for a few years now and I’m communicating with her every day ( work/ TT videos). I do enjoy working with her and shared some personal matters and I think thats where it started.

But this is also where I’m troubled because I know this will go nowhere esp with an attached lady. Brain is saying its going nowhere but my heart is saying otherwise. I want to go back to the time where I was happy to be around her without these thoughts/feelings. Its so negative to my mentality.

3 Likes
2

Dear @Wubby2938,

Thank you for sharing how you’re feeling. It takes a lot of courage to be honest about something so complicated and emotionally charged. It sounds like you’ve developed a meaningful connection with your coworker, and those everyday interactions have led to feelings that you didn’t expect. Now that those feelings have grown, you’re caught in a difficult place, torn between what your heart wants and what your mind knows is right. It’s understandable to feel troubled and conflicted when your emotions aren’t aligning with your values, especially when you genuinely enjoy the friendship and working relationship you have with her.

From what you’ve described, it seems like these feelings are starting to weigh heavily on you, even changing the way you experience your time around her. Wanting things to go back to how they were shows how much you value the positive dynamic you once had, and it’s clear this internal struggle is affecting your mental well-being. Navigating emotions like these is never easy, and it makes sense that you’re seeking clarity and relief from this tension.

If you are willing to share, could you elaborate on these parts of your story?

  • What aspects of your friendship do you value the most, and how do they make you feel?
  • Have you had a chance to talk to her about how you’re feeling? If not, what holds you back?
  • What are some potential outcomes you’re considering if you decide to share your feelings with her?

Looking forward to hearing from you. :hugs:

2 Likes
3

(post deleted by author)

2 Likes
4

Thanks for reaching out! I changed my username just in case.

  1. I feel like she really just an incredible woman. Im quite reserved in person and in situations where I dont feel comfortable, I tend to be the listener. She, on the other hand, charismatic, knowledgeable, kind and sociable. And I felt like these characteristics of her gave me a safe space, enabled me to open up and share some of my personal matters. She will listen and give advices accordingly. I felt heard because I tend to keep things to myself but she gave me an opportunity to open up. I have always enjoyed my conversations with her ( whether its work matters or personal)

  2. I feel like there’s no positive/meaningful outcome if I were to share my feelings with her. She’s happily attached so what can I do really? In fact, I might even lose this friendship and cause awkwardness at work. This friendship is important to me and I want to protect it so I’m not doing anything that will jeopardise that although my heart feels really conflicted

1 Like
5

Hi, thanks for sharing!

I think its great that you’re able to acknowledge your feelings, but also rationally realise that the feelings probably wont amount to anything. To be fair, catching feelings after being friends/workers with someone for years is normal, so u dont have to be upset over that; its just normal human things!! although she’s attached, you can still care about her as a person and enjoy working together, without needing this to turn into something more :heart_hands:

3 Likes
6

Thank you for reaching out! You’re right, nothing will change and I can still care for her as a friend, it just sucks knowing that my feelings will not be reciprocated. I really need to shift my mentality

1 Like