recently, i had to carry out a lesson (against my will) to teach random people i do not know from my school about a new skill that i have already learnt prior. i had planned out how it would go, i did all the slides to present, but my teacher ended up totally scrapping my ideas to use her own at the very last moment. at the end of the lesson (where i was stressing out because i was presenting alone, and shaking a lot), she told me i was irresponsible and that she saved my entire lesson by giving me a lesson plan she made up, because otherwise my lesson would have apparently “collapsed.” i put in all that effort in this stupid lesson i didn’t even choose to do, just for her to overlook it all and tell me “i didn’t plan or put in any effort” EVEN THOUGH I DID. i took about an hour just zoning out and processing her words, but then i just ended up crying for the whole day after that. She didn’t even really scold me, she just told me i lacked a sense of responsibility and that she saved my lesson and whatever, but i still cried and got basically nothing done for the rest of the day. it really ruined my entire week, and i’m not so sure why. i’m pretty sure a normal person would have just gotten mildly annoyed and moved on, but i literally could not do anything but stay in bed and cry about no adult understanding me or acknowledging my efforts (if i defended myself, it would have been seen as “arguing”). is it normal to just get a negative comment once and spiral really really quickly into sadness or am i just overly sensitive?? i don’t really even know why i cried, my thoughts just spiraled quickly from “hey you’re irresponsible” → “your efforts are useless” → “you are useless” → “no one wants to listen to you” → " you are not good enough and never will be" like REALLY quickly. i was so proud of myself too for successfully carrying out the lesson without freezing up, and then her few words ruined EVERYTHING. ;c
Hey, that sounds genuinely exhausting and demoralizing… You are not overly sensitive and what you’re describing is not abnormal… The spiral that happened was firstly because you were already in a high level of stress… You were presenting alone and shaking and that to with a limitation of being unable to use the material you had so much effort preparing… The criticism was very unfair, and crying is not a weakness, the pressure you felt needed an outlet… With your description of the bed, the crying and the whole day lost, i can see that you were in a lot of distress… I just want you to know that getting through that lesson without freezing up while stressed and shaking and presenting alone was a genuinely difficult situation, and you did it… If you do need someone to talk to please call us at 1771 or chat with us at 6669 1771… I hope that the situation gets better at school…
Hey @dinglebutt,
Thank you for sharing your recent experience about conducting a lesson in school. I’m really sorry to hear about what your teacher said to you despite the amount of effort you’ve put in for it. I hear that the negative comments your teacher said made you feel really down, as you’ve felt that your efforts weren’t acknowledged and you felt you weren’t heard. I also hear that it made you feel like you’re never good enough. It certainly is hurting to hear the comments your teacher made, and I think anyone in your shoes will also feel hurt. I know I will too. First off, I just want to commend you on the effort you’ve put in for the lesson, being able to present without freezing up despite the stress you felt, and for doing it all by yourself. You definitely should be proud of what you’ve done! And well done for being able to accomplish what you did!
Additionally, from what you’ve mentioned, I hear that you have a lot of self-awareness to be able to see the thought patterns that go through your head when you heard what your teacher said. I wonder, does a similar chain of thoughts happen when you encounter failure? And do you have someone to talk to, like a trusted adult or friend, when something like this happens?
Lastly, as what @affirmingviolet mentioned, please call 1771 or chat at 6669 1771 if you feel you need someone to talk to urgently. Know that what you’ve accomplished is amazing, and keep reminding yourself of your accomplishments and strengths so that you can see them too! We’re here for you too if you need someone to talk to 