At times, I feel overwhelmed and this leads me to spiral and think about negative events in the past and constantly compare myself to everyone else. Even though deep down I know that I should not be doing so, I cannot help myself at times. I am working on this and fully focusing on what I can do and what I want to achieve. How can I fully commit to my goals instead of looking at others with admiration than envy?
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Dear @user1772
Thank you for sharing that you have been feeling overwhelmed lately. Please know that is okay and part of being human.. When things feel heavy, our mind naturally starts to wander — sometimes to past moments that still hurt, or to thoughts that compare our journey to others. Even though part of us knows we shouldn’t, it’s hard to stop. Please know: that doesn’t make us weak or behind — it just makes us human.
But here’s something important I believe will help : you’re trying. And that matters so much more than you may realise.
You’re learning to catch those thoughts. You’re learning to pause, to breathe, and to come back to yourself. When you admire others, that’s not envy — it’s your heart recognising possibility. What you see in them might just be something that already exists in you, quietly waiting for its time.
You don’t have to be perfect, and you don’t have to have it all figured out. Growth isn’t loud or instant — it’s quiet, steady, and often invisible until you look back. And you are growing. Even now.
So take your time. Be gentle with yourself. Keep returning to your own path, no matter how many times you feel pulled away. You’re not behind — you’re becoming. You’re allowed to move slowly. You’re allowed to feel deeply. And you’re allowed to start again — as many times as you need.
You’re doing better than you think. And you’re not alone in this. Keep going! 
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U can try CBT to change ur default chain of thoughts. Its hard to change but it worked for me
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Thank you for sharing this—it takes real strength to notice these patterns and want to shift them. When we’re overwhelmed, it’s so natural to compare ourselves or revisit the past. It’s your mind’s way of trying to find footing—but I hear how tiring that can be.
Admiration turning into envy often means there’s something in others you’re yearning to grow in yourself. Try asking gently: What is it that I admire? Courage? Discipline? Joy? Once you name it, you can begin to nurture it in your own way.
Here are a few ways to gently turn inward and build focus on your own path, without letting comparison steal your peace:
- Define success on your terms
Instead of chasing what others seem to have, take time to write down what a meaningful, fulfilling life looks like for you. Be specific. When you know your why, it’s easier to stop measuring by someone else’s yardstick. - Return to your present
Comparison often takes us out of the now. Practice grounding—deep breaths, a short walk, or even just asking, “What can I do with what I have, right here?” The more you connect with your own life in the moment, the less pull comparison has. - Let admiration be a mirror, not a measure
If you find yourself admiring someone, try asking: “What about this lights something up in me?” That light is yours—it points to your values, not your shortcomings. It’s a reflection, not a judgment. - Celebrate small steps
The best antidote to comparison is momentum. Keep a record—written or mental—of what you’ve done, even the tiny things. Acknowledge your own growth. That quiet confidence builds trust in yourself.
Remember, this isn’t about silencing comparison overnight—it’s about slowly, kindly shifting your focus back to you.
It’s also helpful to remind yourself of the importance of focusing on yourself rather than others. We’re all on different paths—beautiful souls with our own light. That’s how I see people: like stars, each glowing differently and at different times. Your glow doesn’t have to look like anyone else’s. So let yourself grow at your own pace. Focus inward, develop yourself, and become whoever you want to be 
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Thank you for this:)
Thank you so much for this:) It really helps me put things into perspective and now I know what I can do to help myself!
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