I kinda feel worthless. Some even say I do not have empathy. I tried to change but old habit will kick in immediately. This is affecting my marriage.
How do I really do this? Honestly, alot of things are just eating me alive since my younger days and I do not know how to cope with it.
Hi there @RyanSaix,
Thanks for coming on here for support and sharing about your struggles with feeling worthless and changing habits. It also sounds like this has been going on for awhile in many areas of your life which must also make it very tiring for you. I want to let you know that what you’re thinking and feeling is valid given the circumstances. 
I’m curious to know when do you feel this way? Does it occur after an incident (are you able to notice any patterns here)? And what do you do next? I wonder if these actions relate to the habits (what would that be, btw) you mentioned? Is it similar for the difficulties yiu face and those involving others (like your marriage)? Sometimes the way we think, affects the way we act and feel. Perhaps a shift in perspective might help. 
It sounds like you’re also drained and overwhelmed. I’m curious when you mentioned a lack of empathy - what do you mean by that? You’re right about old habits kicking in immediately as it probably served you well before this. Instead of changing habits which is difficult, let’s consider having alternative helpful habits that you can shape (catch yourself, “Hey, instead of doing… maybe I can try…") and reinforce (reward yourself when you engage in it) so that those can kick in as well.
What do you tend to do to cope? It’s helpful to be able to express your thoughts and feelings, and perhaps towards the people that matter. You can be kinder to yourself and express your feelings in a helpful manner. Another helpful way is to carry out actions that are in line with your values - things that matter and are important to you. You can use this checklist to determine your values and note them down to identify what those values-driven action can be for you. If you select Connection, then it can be being open to communicate and being honest or true to yourself. However, if you still find yourself facing difficulties to cope and would like to seek further support, do consider professional help that is done in a non-judgmental and safe setting to help you express and develop more positive coping skills:
Let us know what you think about this. Until then, hope to hear from you and take care! 