Food, Feelings, and Finding Balance 🧘

Ask a Therapist Coping
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Ever reached for snacks out of boredom, stress, or just… because it feels comforting? Ever eaten something, only to feel guilty or out of control right after?

You’re not alone. A lot of us grow up learning to link food with shame, control, or appearance. But in reality, our relationship with food is so much deeper and more emotional than just what’s on our plate.

Did you know? :ice_cream:
Stress and difficult emotions can directly impact our eating habits. When we’re feeling stressed, our bodies release cortisol, a hormone that can increase our appetite and cravings for fatty, sugary or salty foods. These foods are also highly addictive (as we all know!) - they trigger the release of dopamine (the feel good hormone), giving us a quick emotional boost. But after that comes guilt, and the cycle continues…

And in times when life feels uncertain, food might be one of the few things we can control. That’s why learning to care for our mental health is often a key part of building a healthier, more peaceful relationship with food.

Here are some ways to start exploring this:

  • Start a food and mood journal - not to restrict, but to notice patterns

  • Try mindful eating: slowing down, appreciating your food in all of its glorious flavours and textures, and being present

  • Show yourself kindness. You’re human. You’re allowed to eat for comfort sometimes. You’re allowed to not have it all figured out.

And here are some reflection questions to help you get started:

  • Have you noticed your emotions affecting your eating habits?

  • What are some triggers - thoughts, situations, or feelings - that influence how you eat?

  • What would it look like to eat in a way that feels both kind and nourishing?

  • What messages about food or your body are you starting to question or unlearn?

We would love to hear any thoughts or questions you may have on this topic. You’re not alone if this is something you’re still figuring out. We all are, in different ways. :yellow_heart:

P.S. If food or body image has been a really tough topic for you lately e.g. eating feels overwhelming, or guilt and control are affecting your wellbeing, know that you don’t have to go through it alone. Reaching out to a trusted adult or mental health professional can be a helpful next step. Support is out there, and it’s okay to ask for it.

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Hiii, I want to share my experience with food because it’s sure been a journey! haha… Growing up in an Asian family, food was a way to show love, but it also came with pressure. As a kid, I often told my mom I was full, but she would say I didn’t know how much I needed and made me eat more. At family events, refusing food felt rude, so I usually ate even when I wasn’t hungry.

When I was growing fast, eating a lot felt normal. But after I stopped growing, I realized I had developed a habit of eating until I was too full. School schedules didn’t help — in primary school, we had only a small snack break in the morning, and lunch was often way too late (sometimes only around 2pm), so I was hungry for hours. I actually developed gastric issues back then, probably from the long gaps between meals or stress (or both).

In secondary school, even though we had recess and lunch, the timing still didn’t work well for me. I started stress eating and also tried to cut down on food, but I was still always hungry.

At my worst, I actually snacked for about 2 hours every day after school for months — I’d come home and just keep eating. I think it was partly from stress, partly from habit.

Now, I try to eat healthy — I avoid sugary drinks and overly processed or heavily flavored food — but I still feel hungry often and occasionally binge eat. I feel guilty afterward, even though I know I’m trying my best.

Some of my friends and family are naturally very thin and don’t eat much because they simply don’t feel hungry. That makes me wonder: why am I always hungry? And what does “healthy” even mean anymore? People say, “just listen to your body,” but I’ve noticed I can’t always trust my instincts either — especially when I’m stressed, I sometimes eat more than I actually need. It’s hard to find that balance.

I’m learning to be more patient with myself, but I’m still figuring it out. If anyone else has been through something similar or has thoughts on what truly healthy eating looks like — both physically and emotionally — I’d love to hear it! :>

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Something Ive been doing recently is just simply asking myself “Am I hungry?”
I try to tune into my hunger cues, and just listen to my body.

But I have friends where this doesn’t work – history of altered eating habits (too much, too little, irregular, it could be a lot of things!) can alter hunger cues.

Regular schedules and consistent portions are helpful in just slowly bringing routine eating cycles back, and over time the hunger cues may come back as well.

And having some alternative responses to stress eating may be helpful as well! And having it explicitly planned. For example, if I feel the urge to snack due to stress, I will commit to taking a sensory toy or make myself a cup of tea instead. It should be something that is easy to do but challenging enough to take the mind of!

Just something that I find helpful or had friends find helpful :slight_smile:

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I guess…i find that have something to chew in my mouth makes be feel better.

And in order not to snack too much, in the past i bring in chewing gum which really helps to make me feel more at ease. How much i wish chewing and bubble gum arent illegal in Singapore. Since i find it very good for people with mental health issue to chew on. Especially for people with anxiety. I guess its the same logic of why dogs love to chew on bones and toys, as study have show that chewing help lower their anxiety levels especially for dogs who are alone at home.

For food pattern wise, i am the seasonal kind of person. for a short time i will find myself keep wanting to eat ice cream in pint, a month or 2 later, i wanted to drink milo for like 2 to 3 times a day. And also the time where i want to eat 3 packs of kinder buenos in a day. And also the whole large chocolate bar.

guilt wise, i dont feel any, but still…i avoid looking at myself in the mirror, Well…i really dont want know.

sometimes the food obsession change can be due to weather.

But…to me overeating can be due to being dead poor when i was young and both parents decided to either go in and out of prison or IMH for 3 yrs. And there is a point where me and my brother is stuck at home with power cut for 3 days. And we only eat 1 meal a day. Life is only better where my mother decide to stop her crap.

And having to survive on financial assistance for the last 24 yrs is never easy. But back the, my counsellor ever comments i live a life with life experience that most people don’t have, even till the day they die. And that was when i was 18. Having to go their life of being a hospital abuse victim, survive without parents around, parents divorce, parents in IMH, parents in prison, no food, having to go to the MP to beg for food and get none, Learning about the entire social service system to try to squeeze whatever resource i can out of it. Yeah…you name it.

So…its not joke when i tell people i being in their spot before.