After a failed japan trip goes wrong with more than 10 years of friendship group. Im know skeptical of travelling with anyone fearing the whole incident might repeat again. I feel sad, i tried to salvage the friendship but to no avail. I am trying to not let this incident impact my daily emotions but its always at the bavk of my mind. I understand people comes and goes, but we were once so close. How could everything change just instantly?
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Hi @user0084,
It sounds like this experience has deeply affected you, shaking your confidence in traveling with others and leaving a lingering sadness. Losing something as significant as a long-standing friendship group can feel surreal, especially when the change seems so sudden. It’s understandable that you’re carrying this disappointment and uncertainty with you, questioning how things unraveled the way they did. When bonds feel unbreakable for years, their dissolution can feel almost incomprehensible, and it makes sense that you’re still processing it.
Trying to salvage the friendship, despite the challenges, shows how much it meant to you and the effort you put in. It must be painful to feel like no matter what you did, things didn’t return to how they once were. The sadness you carry is natural. It’s difficult to reconcile when something that was a core part of your life is no longer the same. And even though you’re actively trying not to let it affect your daily emotions, it’s understandable that it still weighs on your mind. These feelings don’t disappear overnight, and the fear of repeating the same experience in future trips is a valid concern.
Acknowledging that people come and go doesn’t necessarily make the loss easier to accept. While changes in friendships are part of life, it’s hard when the shift happens unexpectedly, and especially when the connection was once so strong. The uncertainty about how things changed so quickly can add to the emotional weight of it all. When something was once so solid and familiar, it’s disorienting to suddenly see it gone, and processing that shift takes time. It makes sense that you’re reflecting on it and trying to find peace with the situation.
Despite this painful experience, it’s clear that you deeply value the friendships you’ve had. Even though things didn’t turn out as hoped, that doesn’t diminish the closeness that once existed. Right now, the emotions are strong, but with time, they may settle in a way that feels more manageable. While this experience might shape your approach to future travels, it doesn’t have to define them. You’re navigating this difficult transition with awareness, and that in itself is an important step forward.
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I feel you, travelling is one of the most divisive experiences cause everyone has different “expectations” while on an overseas trip. It’s also a massive test of friendship because you don’t usually spend a full 24 hours a day with your friends until you travel.
Do you mind sharing a bit more so we know what changed?
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hi @user0084,
Thank you for sharing that. I’m sorry to learn that your trip did not turn out as what you had hoped. I know how incredibly tough it is to experience such a significant change in your friendships, especially after so many years. It is completely understandable to feel sad and skeptical about traveling with others again. Your feelings are valid, and it is okay to give yourself time to process them.
Trying to salvage the friendship shows how much you care, and it is important to acknowledge that effort. Sometimes, despite our best efforts, things don’t work out as we hope, and that is not a reflection of your failure, your worth or the value of the friendship.
Have you considered talking to someone that can bring you a sense of comfort (may be another close friend or family members). They can provide support and strategies to help you cope with these feelings and navigate this transition. It is tough when something that was once a source of joy becomes a source of pain. Remember to be kind to yourself and give yourself the space to heal.
Friendships can evolve, and new connections can bring unexpected joy. You can share more with the community if you want to 
I wish you all the best on your healing journey.
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It’s completely understandable to feel shaken and heartbroken after something like that. When a friendship that deep and long-lasting suddenly shifts, especially after a trip meant to bring you closer, it can leave you with so many questions and a lot of pain. You did what you could to make things right, and that effort speaks volumes about your heart and how much the friendship meant to you.
Sometimes, the reality that people can grow apart or react in unexpected ways hurts more than we expect. It’s okay to grieve that loss. You don’t have to rush to move on or pretend it didn’t matter. But little by little, try to remind yourself that one bad experience doesn’t mean every future one will be the same. Trust can rebuild with time, and new, meaningful connections can still form.
Feel free to share to the community if you would like to:) All the best!
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