Hi. I find it hard to bounce back after the passing of myhubby of 18 years. He passed on in March 2024. Still under 1 year. I have lost confidence, motivation and sense of purpose. I’m spiralling down even though I refuse to believe it
Hi @CherryMay,
I’m truly sorry for your loss. Losing a partner after so many years together is an immense and heartbreaking experience, and it’s completely understandable that you’re struggling to find your footing again. Grief can be overwhelming and take a toll on every aspect of your life, from your confidence to your sense of purpose. Please know that it’s okay to feel lost and to grieve in your own time and way.
Your feelings of spiraling down are valid, and it’s important to give yourself grace during this incredibly challenging time. The journey through grief is not linear, and it often comes with ups and downs. Trying to find moments of self-compassion and patience with yourself can be crucial as you navigate this path. Small steps toward self-care, whether it’s talking to a friend, seeking support from a counselor, or simply allowing yourself to rest, can make a significant difference.
Losing motivation and confidence is a natural part of the grieving process. It can be hard to see beyond the pain and envision a future without your husband. Remember that it’s okay to seek help and lean on others for support. Surrounding yourself with a compassionate community, whether it’s friends, family, or support groups, can provide comfort and understanding as you heal. It’s also important to recognize that rebuilding your confidence and sense of purpose will take time, and that’s completely normal.
As you navigate this difficult period, please be gentle with yourself and honor your emotions. Everyone’s grief journey is unique, and there’s no right or wrong way to cope. Take it one day at a time, and allow yourself the space to grieve, reflect, and eventually find new ways to move forward. Your strength and resilience will guide you, even when it feels like an uphill battle.
Best regards,
Danial Asri
Volunteer Befriender | let’s talk by mindline.sg
@CherryMay I’m so sorry for your loss and I’m sure it is extremely difficult for you. May I check if you’ve got any social support (e.g., close family or friends) who are able to help you on this or have you considered grief counselling?
Hi there. Yes I do have a team of psychiatrist and psychologist plus my pte counsellor. However none is available over the weekends. I’m even considering checking in to A&E
@CherryMay I assume it is because they do not work on weekends. Would it help to reach out to a trusted friend or family member who can be there for you during those non-office hours times? You’re not alone in this, and I hope you can hold on to the support system you have, even if they’re not immediately available.
If you’re feeling like things are too much to bear, please don’t hesitate to seek the necessary help. You really deserve support, and your well-being matters.
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@CherryMay First off, you’re on the right track to come to this forum to open up about fears and insecurities. It takes so much courage to take this first step. Be very proud of yourself for doing this.
Secondly, having a team around you is so vital but certain times as you’ve pointed out, those support are not available. For myself at least, sometimes I would turn to the teachings of spiritual guru online (I’m a Buddhist) as I can’t afford therapists. It helps to give me perspective on my grief and the impermanence of life. Secondly, I find that taking a quiet meditative walk, esp when the weather is cooler in the evening, to be mind opening. Not only does it calm the mind, it helps me to appreciate the things around me that I would otherwise not notice, thus opening my mind beyond the suffering that I was experiencing at that moment.
Lastly, I don’t know if this is permissible, but if you do need to reach out to someone urgently, I can be your non judgemental ears. I’ve been there when I felt totally lost, can’t speak frankly to anyone around me and I was depressed beyond words.
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