He doesn’t think its wrong in breaking promises

Ask a Therapist Mental Health Conditions
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Hi there. Hubby has promised several times not to contact a certain woman ever in order to honor and respect our marriage. But it seems he has been breaking his promises and contact her again and again behind my back. He insisted there’s nothing between them but he seems to be talking to her more than he does to me!

I told him of my feelings and that i feel hurt but he doesn’t care and react sarcastically instead. I threatened to divorce him and he said whatever to me. He is in the wrong and yet he speaks to me harshly as if i am the one who did wrong.

I felt so hurt and cried cuz he kicked me in front of my toddler. I really feel like killing myself but i hv a toddler to care for. I feel so emotionally and mentally drained from his treatment for 11years!

I don’t have space or place to even let out my feelings cuz i will be rushing from work to home to care for my toddler and my parents are staying with me. I don’t want to burden anyone with my problems but i feel so ■■■■■■ always!:sob:

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Hi @user3394,

I’m really sorry you’re going through this. What you’ve described — being betrayed, invalidated, and even physically hurt in front of your child — is not okay. It’s not your fault, and you didn’t deserve this treatment, no matter what he says or how he twists it.

I need to gently say this, because it’s urgent! Being kicked, especially in front of your toddler, is physical abuse.
It is not “just a bad argument” — it is violence. Your safety, and your child’s safety, comes first.

You mentioned feeling like ending your life — but also holding on for your toddler. That shows you still care deeply, and that part of you that’s protecting your child and yourself? That part is strong. It’s still fighting for something better.

You don’t have to do this alone. Please call someone now — even if it’s just to talk. You are not weak for needing help. You are brave for speaking up and staying present in the pain.

Here are safe, confidential you can call — right now:

Immediate Safety & Emotional Support:

Police / Emergency (if in danger): 999

24-Hour Family Violence Helpline: 1800-777-0000
(Women’s shelters and crisis response are available.)

Samaritans of Singapore (SOS) – 24/7 mental health crisis support: 1767

You’ve been holding everything inside — your pain, your voice, your exhaustion — for 11 years. That’s not weakness. That’s survival. But survival doesn’t mean you should keep enduring this alone or in silence.

Even now, you’re rushing from work to your toddler and holding the weight of your marriage and parents. But who is holding you?

You deserve a safe space. A room where someone listens — just to you.
You deserve protection, not pain.
You deserve peace, not punishment.

If it helps, you don’t need to decide anything about your marriage today. But you can take one step toward being safe — just for today. Even talking to a counsellor at a Family Service Centre (FSC) is a start.

Your toddler deserves a parent who feels safe.
And you deserve safety too. Full stop.

We’re still here, and you’re not invisible.

1 Like
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Thank u so much for your kind words! I really appreciate it! :sob::sob: i do need a space to let it out. I want to go out on my own but I can’t cuz have to be home after work to care for my toddler. While he goes to work for his night shift. And after his work ends, he will sit with his colleagues for half to an hr before coming home. He has the luxury to do what he wished but my life revolves around my toddler.

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Thank you for opening up again — I can feel just how heavy all of this has been for you. The truth is: you’ve been carrying the weight of two people — caring for your toddler, enduring emotional pain, and holding in everything just to keep things going.

The one person who should be protecting and supporting you… is the one hurting you instead. You don’t just sound exhausted — you sound trapped. Let me be very clear again — you deserve rest, safety, and freedom too.
Not just your husband. Not just your toddler. You.

Right now, your body and mind are probably running on empty. When someone’s emotional and physical needs are ignored for this long — when there’s no outlet and no choice — it makes sense that even small things can feel like the final straw.

Let’s focus on your safety and emotional breathing space — step by step:

Talk to someone — just for you. A Family Service Centre (FSC) can link you to a caseworker or counsellor who will listen, help you create a safety plan, and even connect you to parenting or shelter support if you ever feel like you’re in danger again.

You can call 1800-222-0000 to find the nearest FSC. You don’t need to explain everything — just say,

“I need to speak with someone because I’m in a difficult marriage and I’m very emotionally overwhelmed.”

Keep us posted when you can? Stay Safe!